This is another filk song I typed up after some inspiration from my friend Lana.
Bard Monkey get up get coffee.
Bard Monkey go to job.
Bard Monkey have boring meeting,
With boring Site Herald Bob.
Bob say "Bard Monkey very diligent,
But is breath does stink.
His clothes not period or elegant,
What do Bard Monkey think?"
Bard Monkey think maybe Site Herald wanna cry goddamned morning news himself!
Bard Monkey not say it, out loud.
Bard Monkey not crazy, just proud.
(Chorus)
Bard Monkey like moonlight.
Bard Monkey like mead and bacon too.
Bard Monkey very simple man.
With big warm fuzzy secret heart.
Bard Monkey like you.
Bard Monkey like you.
Bard Monkey hang around at Crown Lyst,
Tell you scroll-work looks nice.
Bard Monkey offer bring you soda,
Bring you cup. Bring you ice.
You say "No thank you for the soda 'cause,
Period it ain't.
Anyway you busy drawing unicorns,
This'l haveta wait."
Bard Monkey as long walk back to Heralds desk,
He sit down pretend to work.
Bard Monkey not thinking, so straight.
Bard Monkey not feeling, so great.
(Chorus)
Bard Monkey have every reason
To get out this place.
Bard Monkey just keep on working,
See your soft pretty face.
Much rather wake-up eat a coffee cake,
Go fence take nap.
Herald's desk fulfilling in creative way -
What a load of crap.
Bard Monkey think some day he have everything
Even pretty Laurel like you.
Bard Monkey just waiting, for now.
Bard Monkey think some day, some how.
(Chorus)
(Chorus)
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Updated SCA Resume
So I have a bad habit of writing notes to myself all over when it involves me personally, then forgetting to follow through on whatever personal matter I wanted to set up. I'm damned good at taking care of others but someday I need my own secretary LOL.
So the topic came up in the middle of the night during Antocalypse 2014, and I remembered that I hadn't updated my SCA resme in a while. Crapbaskets, I say to myself, I should get on that when I get home. Then sleep happened, then work happened, so here I am updating this in the middle of the night and trying to remember various facts and dates and sch and so forth.
So the topic came up in the middle of the night during Antocalypse 2014, and I remembered that I hadn't updated my SCA resme in a while. Crapbaskets, I say to myself, I should get on that when I get home. Then sleep happened, then work happened, so here I am updating this in the middle of the night and trying to remember various facts and dates and sch and so forth.
Honorable Lord Christoffer Koch
Barony of Darkwater, Trimaris
Awards
Trimaris-
Coronets Acclaim, Regional Art/Sci - Baronial Bash 2011
Populous Acclaim, Regional Art/Sci - Long Nights 2011
Kings Acclaim, Regional Art/Sci - Long Nights 2011
Companion of the League of the Hidden Treasure - Trident Tourney 2012
Order of the Golden Hearth - Res Festivus 2012
Order of the Acorns Glade - Village Faire 2012
Order of the Trident Keype with AoA - Village Faire 2012
Order of the Emerald Seas - Gulf War XXII
Order of the Argent Estoile - Cooking and Dancing Symposium 2013
Grant of Arms - Trident Tourney 2014
Order of the House of the Serpent's Torque - St. Val's 2014
Kitchen Experience
Res Vestaria 2011, Dinner (Silk rod themed, starts in Italian based and ends in Chinese based)
Fall Coronation 2011, Saturday Dinner (Viking)
Baronial Bash 2011, Dinner (Italian)
Long Nights 2011, Dinner (Mediterranean)
Hero of the Chalice 2011, Dinner (Irish)
Royal Luncheon - Gulf Wars XXI
Known World Party - Gulf Wars XXI (Arabic)
Ranger Moot 2012 - Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner (Assistant to the Feastcrat)
Trimaris Memorial Tournament 2012 - Saturday Dinner
Fall Coronation 2012 - Saturday Dinner (Roman theme)
Michaelmass Moot 2012 - Saturday Breakfast/Dinner (Forme of Cury, so 14th century English)
Mayanmass Moot 2012 - Saturday Breakfast/Dinner (Mayan theme)
Gathering of the Clans 2013 - Saturday Dinner
MartinMas Moot 2013 - Friday/Saturday (early period Saxon)
Hero of the Chalice 2013 - Saturday Dinner
Trident Tourney 2014 - Saturday Dinner (Norse)
St. Val's 2014 - Saturday Dinner (bread and meat prep)
Gathering of the Clans 2014 - Saturday Dinner
TMT 2014 - Saturday Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner (Wolfmom's "Easy Peasie Feastie Beastie")
Cooking
Swampkeype Revel 2012, Lunch (German)
Trimaris Memorial Tournament 2012, Fundraising Lunch
Michaelmass Moot 2012, Fundraising Lunch and A/S Judges Luncheon (Roman themed)
Hero of the Chalice 2012, Feast (Plaine Fare, German camp cooking themed)
Gulf Wars XXII, Queens Tea (Roman themed, recipes translated from Apicius)
Fall Coronation 2013, Feast (French)
Trident Tourney 2014, Fundraising Lunch and A/S Judges Luncheon (Tavern themed)
Swampthynge 2014 - Dayboard (Tavern themed)
Vigil for Thallassia - 2014, Roasted "Unicorn" (Goat)
Vigil for Milesenda de Bourges - 2014, organizing and managing.
ArtSci Projects
Mylates of Pork, a reproduction from Forme of Cury - Novice Cooking: Regional Art/Sci 2011 (Baronial Bash and Long Nights)
Mylates of Pork, a reproduction from Forme of Cury - Journeyman Cooking: Winter Art/Sci 2012
Compost, a reproduction from Forme of Cury - Journeyman Cooking: Regional Art/Sci 2012 (Michaelmass Moot)
Compost, a reproduction from Forme of Cury - Journeyman Cooking: Kingdom Art/Sci 2013 (Michaelmass Moot)
Classes
14th Century Feasts: How, where, and why they ate feasts in Europe, and simple ways to re-create for an SCA meal
Feast with the King: Why they ate certain foods for feast, what they ate at feasts and how we haven't changed!
Medieval Cooking for Teens
Redaction 101: Translating and Preparing your Period Recipes
Service
Chronicler, Canton of Peregrine Springs: June 2012 - September 2013
Art/Sci officer, Canton of Peregrine Springs: January 2013 - September 2013
Majordomo to their Excellencies Darkwater: April 2013 - Present
Interests
Medieval cooking and preparation, gardening and farming in European styles. German history and culture of the 14th century. Heavy combat, rapier combat, water-bearing, serving and retaining in a period style, fighting styles and designs from the 14th century specifically.
While updating all of this, I found myself realizing I have done a lot of things in a long time. I reread many older entries and remembered fondly the events I attended, and had a good time down memory land. Yeah, I know my resume is not as large and mighty as others but it is mine and I love it!
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Because I knew you...
As late as 2011, I was a terrible person.
Well, maybe terrible was a strong term. Not good is better, or even lacking in chivalrousness could be described; any way you cut it I was not a good person to be terribly close to. I cheated and stole, I gossiped and worked to "punish" those that I felt wronged me and my own, I lied and broke promises. I blamed my hurt on my past, on my present, on anything I could find to excuse my poor behavior. And all the while, I was miserable.
A whirlwind of time later, I found myself surrounded by a whole new crowd. A new girlfriend, a new social circle, new peers in my life. It was a restart, a chance to have a blank canvas...and I almost wrecked it. My fear, my cowardliness almost had me throw it all away. People were treating me with respect. Me, this monster of a person, was being treated with kindness and generosity. My best friend Ever has often stated it's because people could see the good in me that I was choosing to be blind to, and I really feel she was right. I was blind to the person inside, the honest and good soul, because I was afraid. Afraid of my past, afraid of the choices I had made, and afraid of admitting fear itself. I was running from life because I was afraid to live it.
So many people have come into my life, some more prominently than others and yet others have drifted away. Every single interaction has helped me to see who I am, to discover the spar of hope I used to parade down the street with. People such as Dulcia, Madhavi, Ever and yes of course my lovely wife-to-be Sarah have all helped me discover the person I've always wanted to be but been afraid to confront. It's been rough, and at many points I have fought and rejected it.
All this is on my mind from a sudden and surprise test of my character I encountered within the last 24 hours. I've never realized how far I came until today, and how much I have changed. I know it's cliche', but there's a song lyric that really speaks to me on this:
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun,
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better
But because I knew you.
I have been changed for good.
As it passes a sun,
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better
But because I knew you.
I have been changed for good.
To all the wonderful people who have been in my life these last 4 years...thank you. Thank you for inspiring me, pushing me, mocking me at times when I got too serious or bringing me to earth when I was lost in the clouds. Thank you for never letting me go, and for helping me to be the good pperson I've always hoped to be.
Stay tuned for some madness, some ramblings and some more general updates.
Friday, February 14, 2014
On the topic of service...
"But he should have a yellow belt!"
That one statement has been rattling around in my brain for nearly a week, what it means to me and how I reflect my work based on it. It's all to to do with service, and I admit my feelings are complex and mixed. Since my mind will not allow sleep, writing seems like the best answer.
As a small forewarning, this blog post is primarily about the SCA and my views on service within it, but I guess we could use this to describe any number of mundane tasks/roles along with it.
Service is the absolute core of the SCA in my opinion, because we are a volunteer-run hobby group. Every single person I know in Trimaris volunteers to do all the work they do, giving up time and hard earned money for a hobby they feel is worth investing, Officers, Artisans, Event Staff and Fighters all volunteer, all do service of some kind to make us move and grow. We would not have events if not for the people who give up MONTHS of their lives to making a place exciting and filled with wonder and fun for all the participants. We have a whole host of artisans and fighters who make up the officer roles in local and Kingdom groups, all dedicating YEARS of their lives to the art of service and helping us all play our game. Newcomer and old-fart alike work in concert to help make an event happen. But where are all the cries for yellow belts with this legion of volunteers? Why do not Peers cluck their tongue and question the lack of a belt on this horde of helpers?
This has been a question bothering me for many days, and I feel I have finally found an answer that soothes my soul: service is required of all, but not all are required to have the heart of a servant.
An Autocrat serves because he wants to. Maybe he delights in planning parties, or enjoys the organizational aspects of the job. In any case, he serves because it brings him joy an pleasure and that is a good thing. My fighters marshell the field because they enjoy watching the fighting, helping their combat brothers continue their skills, and because they enjoy it. Same goes for any event role or officer role, rare indeed is the person who takes up the task who doesn't derive some kind of pleasure from the task.
Then there are those who feel compelled to serve, those for whom the situation is thrust upon them. Maybe a lunch cook falls ill, perhaps a flat tire prevented a marshall from arriving to run the tourney...regardless if the reason they find service thrust upon them. Kind and good people will do the work if it is needed, if they possess the skills to help, they may grumble about it an make snide social media bursts later but they understand at its core the SCA is service based and all are required at times to help shoulder the load. There is nothing wrong with this service either, if its commonplace then you have a volunteer issue which is a whole other topic better addressed by those wiser than I.
Neither of these, to me, show the heart of a servant. Yes they're all necessary and greatly appreciated, but these are not reflections of the heart of a servant to me. These are not the people who get hounded by Pelicans or others with questions of belts or Peer relationships, but these are all good and honorable people nonetheless. Award them, give them largesse and praise their helpful hearts and willing hands!
There is a Baron and Baroness I know who both truly have the heart of a servant, and I firmly believe that is a basis for why they sought out those roles in the first place. Both could easily fall into the first category I described, but they go beyond that. They do the work without thought to themselves, just to better promote the health of their local group. Their first and foremost thought every time I speak with them is how they can help others have fun. They give up time, money and even some sanity in the effort to serve. They dress in regal clothes and attach retainers to their sides not out of conceit or selfishness; they strive to create that Middle Ages image so well that one of their populace will be lost in the moment. They argue and slave for hours over awards and largesse, not to reward their chosen but to uplift and raise up those who need it most. Their hearts are bent to the task of what they can do to help, and are often oblivious of what they give up to be so supporting; for them they do not give but gain tenfold.
The heart of a servant means not only do you gladly offer assistance when able, you feel compelled. You feel it is your duty and pleasure to serve your fellow man, to raise him up alongside you. You don't think twice about stepping up and offering aid where it is needed, because why would you? You take pride in a work accomplished, not just because of the glow of a finished task but because you did it knowing it would better someone else. You would do it all again, and you will, because nothing warms the heart more than seeing the smile on a fellows face in gratitude of your work.
An individual with the heart of a servant is drawn to leadership roles, not because of a lust for power but because of a clarity of vision. They want to take charge of different aspects, take on various leadership roles, to see that a needed task is completed. Noticing a problem, noticing a niche and striving through all obstacles to accomplish the goal they set forth. They're the people who see the problem no one else has, an found a solution that we all ask ourselves how we could have lived without it previously. They are driven to leadership because ensuring a job is done is as necessary as eating and sleeping.
This to me is what makes the heart of a servant. It's not just found in the Pelicans, it's found all over. You find it in the Laurel who helps her little seedlings master a difficult stitch and perfect their garb. You see it in the aging Knight who still week after week take to the fields and practices to teach anyone who desires his skills. You see it in the older-than-dirt Trimarian who takes the simple largesse made from a beginner feastcrat and cherish it like gold. You see it in the minister of youth giving up her whole weekend to help raise and grow her small horde of children. These are all people with the heart of a servant to me, people for whom perhaps the question I started this blog post with is asked often and repeatedly.
As for me, to answer the question for myself, because it's not my passion. I love to serve, it makes me feel warm and squishy inside knowing I helped something work or that I made someones day better by helping with this task or that. But my passion is Art, to understand it and recreate it and even create it! It is my driving goal, that which I push myself to learn and grow in the most. My service flows from my art, I love to take care of people and feed them in the most period ways I can find. My heart may be that of a servant, but my soul is that of an artist.
Anyway...these are just my silly opinions that have rattled out of my brain and onto paper. Would love some feedback and/or thoughts on what I wrote here.
That one statement has been rattling around in my brain for nearly a week, what it means to me and how I reflect my work based on it. It's all to to do with service, and I admit my feelings are complex and mixed. Since my mind will not allow sleep, writing seems like the best answer.
As a small forewarning, this blog post is primarily about the SCA and my views on service within it, but I guess we could use this to describe any number of mundane tasks/roles along with it.
Service is the absolute core of the SCA in my opinion, because we are a volunteer-run hobby group. Every single person I know in Trimaris volunteers to do all the work they do, giving up time and hard earned money for a hobby they feel is worth investing, Officers, Artisans, Event Staff and Fighters all volunteer, all do service of some kind to make us move and grow. We would not have events if not for the people who give up MONTHS of their lives to making a place exciting and filled with wonder and fun for all the participants. We have a whole host of artisans and fighters who make up the officer roles in local and Kingdom groups, all dedicating YEARS of their lives to the art of service and helping us all play our game. Newcomer and old-fart alike work in concert to help make an event happen. But where are all the cries for yellow belts with this legion of volunteers? Why do not Peers cluck their tongue and question the lack of a belt on this horde of helpers?
This has been a question bothering me for many days, and I feel I have finally found an answer that soothes my soul: service is required of all, but not all are required to have the heart of a servant.
An Autocrat serves because he wants to. Maybe he delights in planning parties, or enjoys the organizational aspects of the job. In any case, he serves because it brings him joy an pleasure and that is a good thing. My fighters marshell the field because they enjoy watching the fighting, helping their combat brothers continue their skills, and because they enjoy it. Same goes for any event role or officer role, rare indeed is the person who takes up the task who doesn't derive some kind of pleasure from the task.
Then there are those who feel compelled to serve, those for whom the situation is thrust upon them. Maybe a lunch cook falls ill, perhaps a flat tire prevented a marshall from arriving to run the tourney...regardless if the reason they find service thrust upon them. Kind and good people will do the work if it is needed, if they possess the skills to help, they may grumble about it an make snide social media bursts later but they understand at its core the SCA is service based and all are required at times to help shoulder the load. There is nothing wrong with this service either, if its commonplace then you have a volunteer issue which is a whole other topic better addressed by those wiser than I.
Neither of these, to me, show the heart of a servant. Yes they're all necessary and greatly appreciated, but these are not reflections of the heart of a servant to me. These are not the people who get hounded by Pelicans or others with questions of belts or Peer relationships, but these are all good and honorable people nonetheless. Award them, give them largesse and praise their helpful hearts and willing hands!
There is a Baron and Baroness I know who both truly have the heart of a servant, and I firmly believe that is a basis for why they sought out those roles in the first place. Both could easily fall into the first category I described, but they go beyond that. They do the work without thought to themselves, just to better promote the health of their local group. Their first and foremost thought every time I speak with them is how they can help others have fun. They give up time, money and even some sanity in the effort to serve. They dress in regal clothes and attach retainers to their sides not out of conceit or selfishness; they strive to create that Middle Ages image so well that one of their populace will be lost in the moment. They argue and slave for hours over awards and largesse, not to reward their chosen but to uplift and raise up those who need it most. Their hearts are bent to the task of what they can do to help, and are often oblivious of what they give up to be so supporting; for them they do not give but gain tenfold.
The heart of a servant means not only do you gladly offer assistance when able, you feel compelled. You feel it is your duty and pleasure to serve your fellow man, to raise him up alongside you. You don't think twice about stepping up and offering aid where it is needed, because why would you? You take pride in a work accomplished, not just because of the glow of a finished task but because you did it knowing it would better someone else. You would do it all again, and you will, because nothing warms the heart more than seeing the smile on a fellows face in gratitude of your work.
An individual with the heart of a servant is drawn to leadership roles, not because of a lust for power but because of a clarity of vision. They want to take charge of different aspects, take on various leadership roles, to see that a needed task is completed. Noticing a problem, noticing a niche and striving through all obstacles to accomplish the goal they set forth. They're the people who see the problem no one else has, an found a solution that we all ask ourselves how we could have lived without it previously. They are driven to leadership because ensuring a job is done is as necessary as eating and sleeping.
This to me is what makes the heart of a servant. It's not just found in the Pelicans, it's found all over. You find it in the Laurel who helps her little seedlings master a difficult stitch and perfect their garb. You see it in the aging Knight who still week after week take to the fields and practices to teach anyone who desires his skills. You see it in the older-than-dirt Trimarian who takes the simple largesse made from a beginner feastcrat and cherish it like gold. You see it in the minister of youth giving up her whole weekend to help raise and grow her small horde of children. These are all people with the heart of a servant to me, people for whom perhaps the question I started this blog post with is asked often and repeatedly.
As for me, to answer the question for myself, because it's not my passion. I love to serve, it makes me feel warm and squishy inside knowing I helped something work or that I made someones day better by helping with this task or that. But my passion is Art, to understand it and recreate it and even create it! It is my driving goal, that which I push myself to learn and grow in the most. My service flows from my art, I love to take care of people and feed them in the most period ways I can find. My heart may be that of a servant, but my soul is that of an artist.
Anyway...these are just my silly opinions that have rattled out of my brain and onto paper. Would love some feedback and/or thoughts on what I wrote here.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Plans within plans
Things I want to write about:
. Review Legendary and it's 2 expansions
. Discuss Pokemon (because I MUST catch them all)
. Marriage
. Tudor Feast 2015 and the madness it has become
. Wings of Revelation, the working title for a new game I'll be running
. SCA randomness
Thing's I'll be writing about today:
Nothing, because I don't have time before work.
In all seriousness, I do have a lot to talk about. I just wish I had more time to write during the day! I think I'll make a point of taking an hour or so after I get off work this eve to dedicate time to writing down what I think and feel or observe.
. Review Legendary and it's 2 expansions
. Discuss Pokemon (because I MUST catch them all)
. Marriage
. Tudor Feast 2015 and the madness it has become
. Wings of Revelation, the working title for a new game I'll be running
. SCA randomness
Thing's I'll be writing about today:
Nothing, because I don't have time before work.
In all seriousness, I do have a lot to talk about. I just wish I had more time to write during the day! I think I'll make a point of taking an hour or so after I get off work this eve to dedicate time to writing down what I think and feel or observe.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Happy Birthday to Me
So, tomorrow is my 27th birthday.
A friend asked me if I was where I thought I would be a decade ago. I thought about it and realized that I wasn't, but that was OK. They asked if I would be OK not having some big birthday celebrations, be given hundreds worth of presents or even have a party of some kind to celebrate my date of birth...but I'm also really OK with that too.
I have the best friends a man can ask for. I have some wonderful adversaries as well, because life shouldn't be boring. I have family, both blood and chosen, whom I know will always be there for me regardless of how much of an ass I am. I have a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, and more forms of entertainment than I know how to shake a stick at. I got a job I love with bosses I adore, even when they drive me nutters. And I have a loving fiance' who is everything I could want or need in a partner, even if it took me a while to realize it.
So yeah, I'm no where I thought I would be a decade ago. But I'll be damned if I'm disappointed, life has just gotten better and I know the future will be even brighter.
A friend asked me if I was where I thought I would be a decade ago. I thought about it and realized that I wasn't, but that was OK. They asked if I would be OK not having some big birthday celebrations, be given hundreds worth of presents or even have a party of some kind to celebrate my date of birth...but I'm also really OK with that too.
I have the best friends a man can ask for. I have some wonderful adversaries as well, because life shouldn't be boring. I have family, both blood and chosen, whom I know will always be there for me regardless of how much of an ass I am. I have a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, and more forms of entertainment than I know how to shake a stick at. I got a job I love with bosses I adore, even when they drive me nutters. And I have a loving fiance' who is everything I could want or need in a partner, even if it took me a while to realize it.
So yeah, I'm no where I thought I would be a decade ago. But I'll be damned if I'm disappointed, life has just gotten better and I know the future will be even brighter.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Reflections on a Feast
So, it's been a while since Fall Coronation. Usually I try and write quickly after an event to capture my mind and my thoughts, but this event led me to sit and ponder a great deal. I learned a lot of things, both in skills as well as personally, and my emotions were a roller-coaster the entire time. Perhaps at a later date I'll share my "No shit there I was..." story for you all to enjoy, but maybe after some more time has past to protect the innocents (and me) from angry wrath :p. In between paragraphs I'll post pictures of my feast, because I'm pretty proud of it.
I never truly understood how good of a cook I was until this weekend. I know that sounds egotistical as shit, but anyone who honestly knows me is aware I am my own worst critic and am the last person to praise my work. Even after hearing my feast had sold out before the event even started wasn't enough to make me feel pride in my work, Jake can attest to my panic and concern at disappointing over 100 people with my "just ok" food. I just don't compliment myself well, so when things start to go tits up I know in my gut that I'm going to be a failure. Its an issue I struggle with during every creative work, but I've heard most artists suffer from the same so I'm not too stressed about it. But after this weekend...I dunno, something changed.
I was in a terrible space on Saturday, mentally as well as with my feast preparation. Things were going wrong everywhere, ingredients were not working and to me it felt like I had clearly not practiced enough. At one point I had a breakdown, needing to call Andi to get some kind of help through the woods I was clearly losing myself into. We were both struggling over the phone to figure out a way to solve it, when a single piece of information sank into my brain and suddenly I had it. It was a moment of clarity, where there wasn't sound or dark or loss...I just understood what I had to do.
From that point on, I was running on instinct. I've never butchered an animal before, but I knew how to do it. I don't know how I knew, I just knew what knife to use and where to cut to get my desired outcome. Thank goodness Squeaky gave me some tips on presentation for cutting purposes, and James Collins helped me make life a lot easier when my brain was acting stupid near the 2am mark. But I just knew what to do. And that happened for me all day Sunday. Problems rolled in, and I knew the answers before I had even thought about them. We had a problem, Andi or an of my other horde of Laurels would toss them at me and we were able to bounce ideas off each other until the problem was solved. It was like a dance, it was just a perfect swell and crest of music.
I learned I was a pretty good cook. Not just in actual knowledge, I knew enough about the processes instinctively through training to know how to fix problems or roll with any punch that got thrown at me. I knew when to ask for help, I knew when to take hints and to follow the advice of my peers. More importantly, I learned I could trust myself. When the chips were down, when I was forced in the corner...I found out I could trust myself to handle the pressure as best as any human can and produce a pretty excellent product. That's a pretty valuable lesson right there.
Besides all that fun stuff, I really did learn a lot of great things this event. Finding out you chose the right people to be friends and family with was nice, especially when they let me scream and stomp then give me booze and push me back into the kitchen. I also learned how to butcher a whole animal, the joys of that I cannot begin to describe, and how to remove eyeballs (far less joyous, more...curious). I learned that no matter how much you prepare, shit will go down and you have to deal with it. I also learned you cannot please everyone, and one person not properly reading your menu and thus complaining about allergies is totally not my problem. It also seems that I say unintentionally hilarious things in the kitchen when I am focused ("The 19th chicken rides the pig!") and many people will believe that I will serve eel for dessert.
Tomorrow I'll finish my what went right and wrong posts, until then thank you for your support. Yes even you, the one on the left.
I never truly understood how good of a cook I was until this weekend. I know that sounds egotistical as shit, but anyone who honestly knows me is aware I am my own worst critic and am the last person to praise my work. Even after hearing my feast had sold out before the event even started wasn't enough to make me feel pride in my work, Jake can attest to my panic and concern at disappointing over 100 people with my "just ok" food. I just don't compliment myself well, so when things start to go tits up I know in my gut that I'm going to be a failure. Its an issue I struggle with during every creative work, but I've heard most artists suffer from the same so I'm not too stressed about it. But after this weekend...I dunno, something changed.
I was in a terrible space on Saturday, mentally as well as with my feast preparation. Things were going wrong everywhere, ingredients were not working and to me it felt like I had clearly not practiced enough. At one point I had a breakdown, needing to call Andi to get some kind of help through the woods I was clearly losing myself into. We were both struggling over the phone to figure out a way to solve it, when a single piece of information sank into my brain and suddenly I had it. It was a moment of clarity, where there wasn't sound or dark or loss...I just understood what I had to do.
From that point on, I was running on instinct. I've never butchered an animal before, but I knew how to do it. I don't know how I knew, I just knew what knife to use and where to cut to get my desired outcome. Thank goodness Squeaky gave me some tips on presentation for cutting purposes, and James Collins helped me make life a lot easier when my brain was acting stupid near the 2am mark. But I just knew what to do. And that happened for me all day Sunday. Problems rolled in, and I knew the answers before I had even thought about them. We had a problem, Andi or an of my other horde of Laurels would toss them at me and we were able to bounce ideas off each other until the problem was solved. It was like a dance, it was just a perfect swell and crest of music.
I learned I was a pretty good cook. Not just in actual knowledge, I knew enough about the processes instinctively through training to know how to fix problems or roll with any punch that got thrown at me. I knew when to ask for help, I knew when to take hints and to follow the advice of my peers. More importantly, I learned I could trust myself. When the chips were down, when I was forced in the corner...I found out I could trust myself to handle the pressure as best as any human can and produce a pretty excellent product. That's a pretty valuable lesson right there.
Besides all that fun stuff, I really did learn a lot of great things this event. Finding out you chose the right people to be friends and family with was nice, especially when they let me scream and stomp then give me booze and push me back into the kitchen. I also learned how to butcher a whole animal, the joys of that I cannot begin to describe, and how to remove eyeballs (far less joyous, more...curious). I learned that no matter how much you prepare, shit will go down and you have to deal with it. I also learned you cannot please everyone, and one person not properly reading your menu and thus complaining about allergies is totally not my problem. It also seems that I say unintentionally hilarious things in the kitchen when I am focused ("The 19th chicken rides the pig!") and many people will believe that I will serve eel for dessert.
Tomorrow I'll finish my what went right and wrong posts, until then thank you for your support. Yes even you, the one on the left.
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