Filk song #2 - Why can't the Changelings?!

Last glut of posts, I swear :p.

This is an old Filk song I wrote over a year ago, done to the tune of "Why Can't the English" from My Fair Lady.

Mercutio:
Look at her, a prisoner of the gutter,
Condemned by every syllable she ever uttered.
By right she should be taken out and hung,
For the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue.

Toi Breaker:
Zxcuse me?

Mercutio: (imitating her)
Zxcuse me!
Heaven's! What a sound!
This is what the Changeling population,
Calls an elementary education.

Drago:
Oh, Herald, I think you picked a poor example..

Mercutio:
Did I?
Hear them down in Freehold square,
Flaunting bare thighs everywhere.
Running and acting anyway they like.
You, do you listen to the Crown?

Ugarti:
Wadaya take me for, shortround!?

Mercutio:
No one taught him manners or respect!
Hear a Darkling boy, or worse,
Watch a Wizened man traverse,
Around a woman dressing room openin' doors.
Chickens cackling in a barn Just like this one!

Riley
Garsh!

Mercutio
I ask you, sir, what sort of word is that?
It's "Zxcuse" and "Garn" that keep him in his place.
Not his wretched clothes and dirty face.

Why can't the Freehold teach their Changelings how to speak?
This archaic, pledging diction by now should be antique.
If you spoke as she does, sir,
Instead of the way you do,
Why, you might be running motels, too!

An Changelings's way of living absolutely classifies him,
The moment he talks he makes some other
Changeling sort despise him.

One common rule of law I'm afraid we'll never get.
Oh, why can't the Freehold
learn to
Set a good example to people whose
behavior is painful to your ears?
Tampa and Gainesville's behavior will leave you close to tears.
There even are places where politeness completely disappears!
In America, they haven't practiced it for years!

Why can't the Freehold teach their Changelings how to act?
Hobs obey the market laws;
Most Lost obey their pacts.
In Arcadia every Loyalist knows his rules from "One" to "Ten"
The Gentry never care what they do, actually,
as long as they all worship them properly.

Most Fairest learn etiquette with the speed of summer lightning.
And Ogres learn it handicapped,
which is absolutely frightening.

But use proper English you're regarded as a freak.
Why can't the Freehold,
Why can't the Changelings all learn to speak?