Facing the mirror

St. Val's feast had me facing something terrifying. I was uncomfortable the whole time, anxious and nervous. I think this feast was the hardest thing I've done so far, because I had to face my greatest challenges in it. I had to face myself during this, I had to face my own failings and mistakes. I had to realize my own limitations, further more I had to realize when I was sabotaging myself. This feast helped me realize all that.

Long time ago, I was that gifted kid in class. I was the one who was ahead of every lesson, I could pick up and sight read music for nearly any instrument, I was reading at a college level by 5th grade and I was always on top. I didn't have to try, I didn't have to really work to be successful. Not until 7th grade, I ran into my first challenge then when I was put into the 8th grade advanced math course. Suddenly I had to try, I was just...average. I failed.

I couldn't handle it, the failing. I began to think that maybe I wasn't smart, that I couldn't do all these things. That I was just this fraud...that my life to that point was wrong and a lie. So I stopped trying. I started holding back, I chose to take no action and let things just happen. I began to rationalize that if I didn't actually try then I would never really know how well I could actually do or know how badly I could fail. I took the easiest route, I avoided challenges and just let myself fail through inaction rather than make an effort.

I did this for so long, that it just became my MO. I took the easy roads, I let the chips fall where they may instead of trying and I just let life rule me. I made so many poor choices through inaction, that I began to believe my own bullshit. Even when I joined up with the SCA the second time, what I did while fun was no real challenge to me. I could just...do it without trying. So I did things for fun, and nothing was amiss. Then I hit Fall Coronation 2015.

I devoted a year of my life to that feast. I studied Japanese culture, I read their mythology and history from pre-history to Edo. I learned about their poems and their songs, their wars and heroes. All of this so I could understand a new cooking style, to understand a culture that was incredibly foreign to everything I've known. I got to the feast after a year of work...and I did a good job. I made plenty of mistakes, the list if I were to get into it would be huge if I were to be frank, but it was still a damned good feast. It wasn't my best, but for the first time in a long time I really tried and while I didn't quite reach that top gold rung I got a good silver pedestal. But everyone else...I couldn't escape the praise. I couldn't escape the constant well wishes and the regular compliments, and the more praise was heaped at me the more I began to resent the feast. I hadn't been the best, I had just passed, why was everyone making a huge deal about my failures?

I started another downward spiral. I started to rethink every success I had over the last five years and began to tell myself that even my easy successes had just been failures that people didn't realize. As I began to work on my next feast for St. Val's, I couldn't focus. Even working with a fantastic partner, I did not put anywhere near the effort I normally did into it. I expected to fail, I expected that it would be ruined and thus I put almost zero effort or work towards it. I just couldn't muster the energy to care.

Then I was suddenly forced to care. St. Val's was to host Art/Sci, and I had to look at the 3/4 completed project I had left in rambles and face the fact that it was me who ensured it couldn't be entered. I had to fave the fact that the feast was going to be hurt because I didn't support my comrade, and my friends were gonna have a bad night because I was selfish and didn't want to admit that I lacked such confidence in myself. My friends know I have such little ego, so when I looked into the mirror that day the next thought that came was akin to a slap in the face.

I looked into the mirror, and realized I had been holding back for years because I was too afraid to really try. I had never really tried at anything for years until fall coronation, and I was willing to throw that all away. 

I was a flurry of work from that point on. I pushed myself to recover for lost time, I improvised recipes on instinct and potions/flavor profiles on just a fundamental understanding. Hell, I recreated a recipe I had eaten 2 years ago based on memory of taste/texture and a few tips on assorted chickpea recipes I found online. I gave it a real effort that last little bit of time, to just be good again. I made a huge number of mistakes, but I had a great team member supporting me and a great crew to work with all day. I faced my fear of failure instead of hiding, I gave it a real try for my friends sake. 

We did a real good feast, hot food was hot and cold food was cold. Everyone liked the taste, and everyone had plenty to eat. I had a great co-Feastcrat who worked with me to make a great experience. I had a great hall steward who did a fantastic job of organizing the hall and servers. I had great friends who supported me and helped me get through it. I got a chance to look in the mirror and realize that if I actually tried...if I put real effort into my passion without fear of failure...that maybe I could have my best feast yet.

I feel good. I got hurt, I got knocked down. But for the first time I realize that it's my fault for the pain, and now I can stand back up and keep moving forward.

An Crosaire has always been a place of beginnings, of renewals for me. Seems like it did it again.

Video Games: A Year in Review

I love video games, I wish I had more time to just sit back and enjoy them but my life often takes me away. 2015 has been a great year for gaming for me, and I would just like to talk about some of my experiences this year in gaming. These are not everything I've played this year, just some of my favorites.



Fallout 4 - I have sunk WAY too many hours into this game already, and it just came out in December. I love everything to do with this game, I've made 4 distinct characters already to explore different character builds and ways to explore the game. Another Bethesda classic, the open world style of game play for me never gets old and continues to shine. There have been some great improvements in the game from Fallout 3 (love the physics, improved combat mechanics and cool gun customization's), but also some negative changes I'm none to pleased with (dialog system anyone?). I think the hidden gem of this game is the surprise settlement building mechanics, it's a great start and I hope that the DLC coming soon will expand and improve on the basic system in place.

I rate Fallout at 4 power armor suits  out of 5.


Bloodborne - Dark Souls/Demon Souls never really appealed to me as a gamer, the mechanics are unforgiving most of the time and not conductive to my style of enjoyment. When I heard of Bloodborne I was like "Oh great, another hard ass game I have to be told I should enjoy if I'm a real gamer". It was this review here that changed my mind on the game, I am a sucker for a good story and I love Victorian Horror and Lovecraft Horror styles. Yes the game is grueling and yes the game is very unforgiving at times...but the lore and story of this game have me hooked. If you love good horror, and don't mind some crazy difficult game play, I cannot recommend this game enough.

I rate Bloodborne at 3 gibbering madmen ranting about the Old Ones out of Gralphfil'agi



Destiny: Taken King Edition - I purchased a PS4 just to get Destiny when it first came out in 2014, and I was super disappointed. I'm not the biggest shooter fan, but the story alone attracted me to this gem and I had followed its development for years. The finished product left me underwhelmed at best, and I traded it away and moved onto other games. When the Taken King edition came out (with the original game + all the expansions and DLC to date), my wife purchased it for me because she remembered how much I wanted the game in the past. I have to say...all the changes have been good. The DLC and expansions fill out the game, re-balancing has been nice. The game controls better, and I do have a more enjoyable time with it overall. The story still feels lacking, and I'm still frustrated with the whole Bungee website thing, but as far as a shooter goes it's the most fun I've had this year.

I rate Destiny at  2.5 ammo clips out of 4 randomly generated wooden crates somewhere on the f^&king map.


Until Dawn - Dude, this game rocks. It's a video game that plays like a classic 80's/90's horror film, the butterfly effect/choice system is cool and its some of the tightest acting/writing I've seen in a game to date. There isn't much to the mechanics sadly, it's a very story heavy game so many action-style gamer's may find it boring. But it's the perfect game to play when you have a bunch of friends over and wanna feel involved in the telling of a great horror story.

I rate Until Dawn 4 jump scares out of AHHHHH!


Pokemon Alpha Sapphire - 7/10, too much water. Sorry, I couldn't resist the joke! This is a remake of the Gen 3 Pokemon classic, and its a fantastic upgrade. New look, new Pokemon, new styles, it's just great. If you've ever played Pokemon you know what you're getting, but that hasn't stopped me from putting in hundreds of hours into the game. If you like Pokemon, you should play this.

I rate Pokemon AS at 675 Pokedex entries out of 712.

Fiction: Listen

Have you ever stopped and spent a few hours in silence to listen to the sound coming from your house, and I mean really stopped to listen? All houses have those sounds, those creaks and groans as metal and wood settle on foundation or the wind blowing through the gutters that rattle against the dirty window pane. Your feet will crinkle carpet as you step your way into bed, shoes will click against the fake wood linoleum when you walk in the kitchen. Door hinges will softly sigh when new, or creak and whine with age, and the soft hum of the a/c unit as it breathes out to chill your home. Your house has a voice, a life, a unique sound that you can only hear if your very still and quiet.

A friend of mine suggested I try meditation the other day, to relax as well as align myself with my environment in my new house. I don't really believe in much of that new age mumbo-jumbo, but I do understand the value of some peace and quiet. To be honest I had never really ever had it, there's always music or TV playing to distract me. Modern life, right? The price we pay for our advances, that constant hum of electricity and artificially created sounds. I decided to turn everything off, unplug all my electronics and even turn off my modem. I set the A/C to off and made sure everything in my house that could create an artificial sound was off, finding a quiet room far from my kitchen and resting in the center. I sat down on the floor and closed my eyes, focused on my breathing and just...listened. I listened for the sounds in my house.

I heard what I expected at first, the creaking in the wind and the brush of branch on wall. Then I heard a different sound.

The sound still haunts me. I can't be alone in my house anymore without something on, which annoys my roommates but they don't understand. The TV hides the sound, the a/c blasting distracts me, the hum of electricity drowns out any other noise. I can't sleep without music, I can't find peace without something to distract me from the sound I can never unhear. I will never be in my home alone in silence ever again. I can't ever handle that moment. I thought I was the only person to ever hear that sound, to listen to what I should not, but when I looked online I saw I wasn't the only one. Thousands, all around the country, had heard the same sound when alone. All of us are afraid to ever be alone in silence again. What if its in every home, what does that even mean? Why doesn't anyone hear it, anyone listen?

If I was really alone, then how did I hear that sound?

Don't believe me? Sit down in a room away from the kitchen. Turn everything off that might produce a sound, wear comfortable clothing and sit with your eyes closed and listen. LISTEN. Don't even think, clear your mind and just LISTEN. LISTEN.

Hear that?

I did.

Why Thanksgiving is not real

This post is gonna be a bit ramble here, excuse it please. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the basic ideas I put together in my head.

I decided to spend the day in silence, enjoying the company of my own mind and thoughts. These days are rare, and I enjoy them whenever I can. While I was taking a nice drive, on the radio I heard a Christmas jingle begin to play. I began with my usual grumbling response of "why can't Christmas stay in its own season" and then I paused, because Thanksgiving really doesn't have a "season". Thanksgiving has nothing big, it's an artificial day we created just like Christmas or Easter. Why do I suddenly care if it gets overshadowed?

An hours worth of rushing thoughts and whirling memories (and math) later, I was shocked with the only observable answer I could find: Thanksgiving wasn't real.

To give you some context...another life ago I played a game as a character obsessed with all things Christmas and the Christmas season. To better play as this character, I began to study Christmas and winter traditions all around the world and through time. One thing that I discovered that made me uncomfortable was the uniform way we celebrated these winter holidays. 

All around the world, humanity as a shared species has decided that there needed to be a winter ritual, to inspire the mind and bring the community together. This ritual was based around local spiritual beliefs, but always had the same purpose and context. No matter the time, the culture or even the date; humanity had a shared "winter" ritual/holiday that was incredibly vital and important to us. As I studied this one holiday, to better understand the cycle of progress I discovered that we had done very much the same for a Fall/Summer/Spring holiday as well. It was if at those times we decided this was important, and it shaped our cultures. 

But we still needed to define ourselves individually as well. (Again) In almost every culture I studied there was an additional 4 other holidays around the year that were important, but these were important in idea but not in ritual. For example it was always important to our ancestors that we honor and celebrate our dead and remember them, but how that is done differs not just culture to culture but even town to town. So this happens through all our lives, we seek out and celebrate these events.

What does this have to do with Thanksgiving I'm sure you're asking. Well funnily enough in the Gregorian calendar system that was designed for Western calendars, no ritualistic holidays fall in November. No holiday or ritual of importance to Western culture falls in November.

That's weird right? Especially because the holidays/rituals seem to fall in a pretty set pattern. That's where things start to go deep.

The human mind seeks patterns, it seeks ritual and understanding like no animal alive on Earth. We created these rituals and holidays because we needed them, and not just the celebration but the regularity. These celebrations have anchors to our lives, marked the year. The lunar calendar was always unreliable, because of the fewer day count than the solar year it meant that months would slip seasons. What was a winter month was now a summer after a few years, so the holidays themselves acted as more of a calendar marking system than the written in many early cultures. The spring festival was always around the same time every year, as was the rest. The summer was always roughly the same distance apart from the fall and spring, which meant the holidays all fell together in a nice pattern. We, that is to say humans, like patterns because they make sense. So we were happy with that for a VERY long time.

Fast forward this to the start of modern American culture. In the 1800's as the world was changing due to the industrial revolution, humanity was changing with it. Our patterns changed, our behaviors and every way of life was affected by this change. But we still needed these rituals, these holidays we had created. They were a part of who we were as inheritors of Western culture, and had to find some way of expressing them. I believe we did adapt and change them, and that is the problem.

All around the world we have four major holidays: a spring, a summer, a fall and a winter. Americans have adjusted and changed their lives by moving to a more mild climate than what they left in Europe, and so our major holidays have changed as well. The easiest to point out is Christmas, it's firmly placed in the calendar and its morphing from a religious holiday to a secular one is more evident as the years go on. The Spring holiday is also undergoing a shift, that I feel is more due to again the drifting of Christian dominance in politics/holidays in the country. Valentine's Day is our major American spring holiday, not only does it encompass the beginnings of new love and new life but as the years have gone on its taken a larger consumer focus and begun to incorporate some other spring features like cute baby animals (representing new livestock) and flowers (representing new/blooming life). Easter still has a strong grip, but each year I see it losing more and more generalization and becoming more and more rigidly Christian (which is totally fine!)

Summer was, for a long time in old Europe, given the holiday of Beltane to celebrate...here in America we have Memorial Day. It is the "unofficial" start of the summer, it is celebrated with large group gatherings involving fire/food/drink, stories and deeds of past gathered are told and memorialized to learn from them and be like them. Students are let out to work the fields, trips are planned and happen (hello former season of war) all across the nation. Memorial Day is rooted in the ritual itch that Beltane scratched, which is why that weekend has so many important holiday traditions surrounding it. 

That brings us to Fall...which is in bad shape here in America. We have no real fall festival, hell our fall is dramatically different here than in Europe. For most of our culture we did not have a unifying fall festival, communities would throw harvest festivals in September around Michaelmas but as the industrial revolution ripped across the world that even changed how our country operated; going from an agricultural to a industrial in the relative blink of an eye. Now all the labor and work came from factories and machine halls instead of farms.

Labor Day I feel satisfies MOST of what we want for our fall festival. It honors the "harvest", brings the community and family together, welcomes back the men from their time away (returning soldiers now returning families from vacation), and shares the bounty of the harvest with everyone (hello one of the busiest sales weekends of the year). It brings that ritual component that we need to feel better.

But what about Thanksgiving? Why is that holiday, which should be our fall ritual, regulated to nothing status? Because...it's all made up.

Thanksgiving as a holiday is a fake. It does not draw from the cultural heritage of the other holidays and thus has no support to stand on. The pilgrims landed, probably happened in September by official reconciling. Harvests in America are finished by October to prepare for early winter weather that comes in November. The holiday itself wasn't official until 1942, almost 80 years after Lincoln established it (in comparison to Labor Day which has been regularly celebrated since the 1880's). The holidays point was to thank God that we were delivered from Europe and thank him for our "blessings", NOTHING to do with being focused on harvest. We don't know what to do with this holiday, so we did the only thing our subconscious brings could muster: attach all the fall ritual trappings that Labor Day was missing.

Now we have a Christian general day of thanks, parading around and pretending to be a fall featival. It has no attachment to any ritual itch humanity needs scratched, and we really only acknowledge it when forced to (or point out how it's being overshadowed by a real holiday). It's empty, devoid of the meaning that these other holidays all have for our hearts.

And that is why Thanksgiving is not real.

Fiction: That One House

Every town in Florida has that one run-down house, that one spot filled with urban myths and stories handed down from neighborhood kid to neighborhood kid. Riding bikes around town, coming up with various schemes and games to entertain yourselves in the rural backwaters of a town that lives in the shadow of tourists, every kid eventually finds this old house. It is a source of wild tales and crazy dares, stories shared to frighten.

The truth of the matter is that this house is a source of dread and fear for all the children, but not that they truly understand why. They ride by it, trying to catch glimpses of what frightens them about it. They gather in groups and dare each other to get ever closer, some getting close enough to touch the mildew-covered walls and smell the rot from the leaves mixing with the heat of the sun that lay heavy on the lawn. Sometimes you catch glimpses of a figure, always a woman, moving around inside the sun-bleached house. One of the kids swears they saw her in the backyard, hoe and spade in hand, planting some unseen garden. She is always a witch, always some demonic figure who curses and summons monsters to frighten. Every child knows her, every child knows the run-down house.

As teens many have forgotten the old stories they used to tell themselves, moving onto new horrors from film and stage. But none of them ever forgot that house, or the woman inside. When the stolen beer flowed and the teens gather late at night for thinly-veiled sexual games, horror stories come out. And someone always brings up the old "crack" house, along with one of the horror stories attributed to that house. A murder, missing child, a witch, a demon-summoning agent of the devil. One by one, they all remember the stories they told and the dares they made; they never forgot the house. 

The teens find their way to the rotting house, drunk and high on more than the drugs in their system. The house is still there, just as they remembered it. There's a light on, and the peeling paint and crumbling walls on the house seems more imposing and frightening for the light. A shadow moves across the filthy window, someone is inside and awake. One teen is dared to go to the house, to sneak around and investigate. Old fears come back, those primal nightmares that as children refused them sleep. One teen goes up, to touch the moldy door like old times. The light turns out, and they hear the door creak open. They run, all afraid and terrified of what hell spawn is unleashed upon them. They go back to school the next day, laughing off their encounter. They joke about how stupid it is, and how dumb they were. 

But they never go back to that damned house, they never bring it up again. And their friend just moves one day, no explanation.

Adults are beyond such things as childhood fears, that's what they all say. Adults have real fears, worries of money and relationships, they don't have time for childhood scary stories. They forget, they move on. They forget all about that one scary house, and the figure inside. They don't even remember what it was like as a teen, that fear clutching the belly and twisting all rational thoughts into a warped horror. They never think about it again, until they go back to that old hometown.

Stories and memories from the old days resurface as old friends drink beers and discuss life. Stories of old teachers and neighbors, childhood loves lost and friendships forged. And of that old house, the one you haven't thought of in years. The beer makes things fuzzy, and you can't believe you were ever afraid of a stupid house. You talk yourself into going to visit the house, if you even remember how to get there.

You remember, because you never truly forgot. It's exactly as you remembered it, unchanged by time. You remember the fear and the horrors, the things your mind has tried to forget. As you stand outside this old house, you hear the door open wide. A woman walks out, a young one clutching her belly that has just begun to swell. Her eyes are filled with dread and regret, her face set and determined, her walk brisk to be free. You remember her, remember your childhood friend who never left town. You lost contact when you moved, you never reconnected; just like she never left this rotting and festering town.

An old woman hangs in the doorway, watching you. The shadow on the moth-eaten curtains, the witch, the devil-summoner. The source of nightmares your whole life, casually lighting a cigarette and gazing at you from a haze of smoke. She knows you, has seen you your whole life. You've known her too, seen her your whole life. She is the decrepit woman you remember being shunned at the wal-mart, the aged woman that adults in town would talk to in hurried and quiet breathes and would be afraid to be seen with. She's the old woman watching you ride by from her seat at the bus stop, but never gets on the bus. 

She goes inside, and you run. You drive away, and drink to forget. But in the dark of the night, when your mind won't let you sleep, you remember her. And every time you find yourself in your old hometown, you drive by that broken-down house. And she's always there, covered in a haze of smoke, waiting for you.

Every town in Florida has that house. Each town, living in the shadow of media and tourist centers, live in darkness. Each town is a festering rotting hole, compost to grow new lives in which one day must leave. But someone needs to tend to the compost, someone needs to ensure the healthy leave. The dead stay and rot, their nutrients feeding new generations of life; their gardener stays in that house. 

Every town in Florida lives in shadow, rotting and festering as it ages away. Every town has that house, and the woman who tends the compost.

Bard Monkey

So something I enjoy doing is writing music and lyrics. Often times I cannot play the music I write at events, so much of my SCA work is in filks of tunes people recognize. I have a few songs I've written that I'll post here sometime, this filk has been one I've been meaning to add to the blog for a while but have forgotten.

Bard Monkey
(sung to the tune of Code Monkey by Jonathan Coulton, original song here)

Bard Monkey get up get coffee,
Bard Monkey go to job.
Bard Monkey have boring meeting,
With boring Site Herald Bob.

Bob say Bard Monkey very diligent,
But his breath does stink.
His clothes not period or elegant,
What do Bard Monkey think?

Bard Monkey think maybe Site Herald wanna cry goddamned morning news HIMSELF,
Bard Monkey not say it,
Out loud,
Bard Monkey not crazy, just proud.

(Chorus)
Bard Monkey like moonlight.
Bard Monkey like mead and bacon too.
Bard Monkey very simple man,
With big warm fuzzy secret heart,
Bard Monkey like you.
Bard Monkey like you.

Bard Monkey hang around at Crown Lyst,
Tell you Tudor look nice.
Bard Monkey offer bring you soda,
Bring you cup bring you ice.

You say no thank you for the soda 'cause,
Period it ain't.
Anyway you drinking some sekanjabin,
No time for that.

Bard Monkey have long walk back to Herald Point
He sit down pretend to work.
Bard Monkey not thinking, so straight.
Bard Monkey not feeling, so great.

(Chorus)
Bard Monkey like you, a lot.

Bard Monkey have every reason,
To get out this place.
Bard Monkey just keeps retaining,
See you soft pretty face.

Much rather wake up, eat a coffee cake.
Go fence, take nap.
Blazoning fulfilling in creative way.
What a load of crap.

Bard Monkey think some day he have everything
Even pretty scribe like you.
Bard Monkey just waiting for now,
Bard Monkey think some day, some how,

(Chorus)

Post-foodem Part 2: 30th Year Feast Dishes

In this second part, I want to break down all the dishes and some thought on each one. Lots of pictures here!

Ah, white rice. This came out lovely, Mikey had a much better way of cooking this than I had on hand which gave the same light and fluffy texture. Good stickiness, and Corey shaped the domes perfectly. Love this rice!

This was my collection of pickles; ginger, plum, carrot and turnip. The plum was intense, a sweet and spicy mixture I found tantalizing. The pickled carrots and turnips were a classic hit, a lovely flavor. What surprised me was how popular the pickled ginger was, for it was a very harsh flavor but I didn't have any left over at the end of feast!

This was my Fresh "Crane" soup, and it was one of my better dishes. The duck I used for flavor was light and frothy, providing a great flavor. The mushroom water added in rally bolstered the flavor without overpowering. I wish I had added a little more salt to the finished product, I thought it would have made it ZING!

Water chesnuts were water chestnuts. They were meant to be eaten with other items, and as a palette cleanser. SOOO glad I bought pre-sliced ones, saved me such more prep time.

I swear, there were sick sticks on here...these were one of the most popular course items. I'm super proud of them, and glad I decided to lengthen the marinade time on the chickens. Each stick had alternating chicken and squash chunks, and the squash was super fresh and yummy. I never actually ate the finished product of this one after testing,just licked the glaze off a spoon...

My Uji River! Presentation on this didn't look how I wanted, this nori was a little softer than I had licked and I switched plates for ease of service, but the noodles were PERFECT thanks to Jason! The Udon was super tasty, and most people were surprised at the cool noodles but greatly enjoyed the flavor and texture. I ate a crap ton of these myself.

This pine cone tofu looks so perfect, isn't it cute? Tasted so terrible though...I had some people try and eat it, but I hate tofu. I loved reading the little poem with this dish, it made me smile!

This was my rock-star dish, I am so proud of this miso soup. Thanks to Andi for the suggestion of the fresh wakame, this already amazing soup became stellar. The secret ingredient was fresh fish stock, I used the water made from parboiling the tuna sashimi. So good...none of this came back!

This is two dishes, the sushi on top and the sashimi underneath. The fish was expertly cut by Corey, and the rice shaped by Andi/Jason/Mikey. As per period accounted, the sashimi was lightly teamed/boiled to heighten the flavor but not cook, while the sushi was served fresh with a strong rice vinegar rice bed. This was perfect and beautiful.

Another presentation piece I wasn't very thrilled with, issues in creation meant my bird heads never were able to be made. That's ok, I still topped them with a nice treat designed by Andi! I loved how the eggplant did a great job cooking and toasting the items inside, made a very tasty meal.

Meh...wasn't that thrilled with this one. I feel like it looks pretty, and is just tasty for me, but most people found the cabbage a bit too chewy That's a bit frustrating, and I know a lot came back, but you can't win with every dish. Next time I do fresh cabbage like this, I will just salt and sit instead of the saltwater brine.

Fresh fruit is so darling, and such a rarity in European cooking! I loved the floral arrangement for the citrus, and the pears just had this sharp elegance in the way they were cut. It looks like small stones of white and green blooming from a flower. Very lovely!

Another dish combination, this is my red bean paste dessert and the fresh mochi. The red bean desert was weird, I wasn't sure of the texture at first but it and the taste won me over rapidly. Thanks to Corey for the shape, he did a wonderful job on the cutting process. The mochi was also so yummy, and the green tea flavoring was refreshing! I'm not a big fan of the seeds on it, the texture tasted a bit off to me, but the kinako flour on the other just heightened the natural flavor.

Thank you for taking the time to follow my adventures in this feast! If you would like any of the recipes for any of thee dishes, feel free to email me at canatsey86@gmail.com and I would happily share them.