Feast Testing Form

    In an effort to put more of my work here into the blog for sharing, I'll be posting on here regularly for the next short while to get my blog as up to date as my Google Drive!

    Here is a copy of my Feast Testing Form, a small form I drafted several years ago to have people fill out while testing my dishes and feasts. I really like the feedback from folks this gets me, and it helps me to fine tune taste and texture issues I may not be aware of. Feel free to use this yourself if you wish, or use your own format! And if you do SCA meal planning and do some similar testing, I would love to see what you use.

What dish did you like best? Why? _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________



What dish did you like least? Why? _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________



Please give a comment (positive or negative) on each of the following courses -



Course 1 - ______________________________________________________________




Course 2 - ______________________________________________________________




Course 3 - ______________________________________________________________




Course 4 - ______________________________________________________________




Course 5 - ______________________________________________________________



Any advice/suggestions for plating/presentation of any particular dish?


_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________



Would you be willing to eat this at a Feast, now having tried it? _____________________

Story time reflections

Once upon a time, there were six young children lost in the woods. They had grown up together in a small town at the edge of the woods, but that town was a place of filth and refuse that never truly came clean. Agreeing that they had to strike out on their own to start a new life away from that town, they packed their bags and meager belongings with a few sandwiches. Slipping away with the smallest of goodbyes, they hit the road out of town and walked deep into the woods to cross and find a better life.

As they traveled, the children shared their hopes and dreams for the future and what life they wanted now free of their old town.

"I want to find a place that will let me become a warrior of renown, someone that people will sing my tales for years to come." Thus spoke the first child, and the leaves shook and heard his call.

"I want to live life as one party, traveling from one camp to the next and meeting all the new friends I can." Thus spoke the second child, and the squirrels chit tweed and heard his call.

"I want to be an artist, to bring to life the images I see in my mind, and work for what I want without being beholden to others." Thus spoke the third child, and the bubbling spring flowed fast and heard her call.

"I want to fight the good fight, to work hard for my gain and end the day with a new meal every night. I want purpose." Thus spoke the fourth child, and the wind picked up and heard his call.

"I want a place to call home, to make my way free and have a family." Thus spoke the fifth child, and the birds took to the air and heard her call.

"I want to create something lasting, to help support a great work or some building to have that satisfaction." Thus spoke the sixth child, and the flowers slowly opened in the sunlight and heard his call.

After a time, the children crossed the wood and entered a new kingdom. There they met wonderful people, new friends who took them into their homes and let them sleep a spell in exchange for a few chores around town. There they met the new King and Queen, freshly crowned and ready to make new friends as well. The children decided that this was a place they could call home, and began to settle. They met new friends, new faces, and the influence these good folk had on them helped shaped their growth. As they started their lives, those dreams they shared in the wood began to come true in ways they never could have imagined.

The first child picked up the blade, and though skilled as he was it was his way with the pen that quickly won him renown. His tongue and quill became sharper than any blade he could wield, and there were stories told of his prowess in battle true...but these tales of valor and honor came from his wordsmith skill and the lightness of soul it takes to master speechcraft. Thus, when that first King and Queen came back round to rule the land again the child found his dream had come true. 

The second child did indeed spend his time traveling from camp to camp, traveling to meet new friends and celebrate life. As he traveled, he learned new tales and shared them as he went. He found a love for the bardic arts, studying multiple musical arts and sharing his joy of life to every tent and cabin he found himself. Thus, when that first King and Queen came back round to rule the land again the child found his dream had come true. 

The third child quickly became an artist of renown, earning the respect of the various guilds and rank within. She found joy in creating art for the sake of art, but her heart truly soared when she did art for the sake of another. She dedicated herself to art for the sake of others, raising others up. In the joy of others she found life, and bent to task. Thus, when that first King and Queen came back round to rule the land again the child found her dream had come true. 

The fourth child did find his fight, and his skills with the blade became well known. But his skill became known not for combat, but the kitchen. He worked hard, he ate well and he learned to value his work for others. Dedicating himself to art and work for others, he found purpose. Thus, when that first King and Queen came back round to rule the land again the child found his dream had come true. 

The fifth child found the family she sought, a good man to wed and a doting child to have at her knee. Her family would not simply be them, she would soon discover a whole family who flirting about as the butterfly to take her under their wings. She found a home working the sewing rooms and scribal halls, and was happy. Thus, when that first King and Queen came back round to rule the land again the child found her dream had come true. 

The sixth child found great success with his ability to see what needed to be built, and to create works that others needed. He rebuilt and redesigned a whole tavern and town postal service, he inovated a new method to share festivals held throughout the land and found happiness. All this was good, but still his soul did not know satisfaction. It wasn't until he had wed and held the son he helped bring into the world that he truly knew joy, and the greatest thing he would leave behind as a legacy. Thus, when that first King and Queen came back round to rule the land again the child found his dream had come true. 

In the end, all the children found that their dreams had come true in one fashion or another, and all rested well and in happiness. They toasted the King and Queen, the first ever they remembered having, vowed to continue to support the magical kingdom they had found which made dreams come true.

And they lived happily ever after.

A Challenge Approaches!

I have a new challenge, recreating the Castle of Love. It's gonna be big, it's gonna be epic. I am madness for attempting this, but goddamn will it be amazing when I pull it off.

Here is a description of the dish, from Du Fait de Cuisine:

10. For a lofty entremet, that is a castle, there should be made for its base a fair large litter to be carried by four men, and in the said litter must be four towers to be put in each quarter of the said litter, and each tower should be fortified and machicolated; and each tower has crossbowmen and archers to defend the said fortress, and also in each tower is a candle or wax torch to illuminate; and they bear branches of all trees bearing all manner of flowers and fruit, and on the said branches all manner of birds. And in the lower court will be at the foot of each tower: in one of the towers, a boar's head armed and endored spitting fire; elsewhere a great pike, and this pike is cooked in three ways: the part of the pike toward the tail is fried, the middle part is boiled, and the head part is roasted on the grill; and the said pike is sitting at the foot of the other tower looking out from the beast spitting fire. One should take note of the sauces of the said pike with which it should be eaten, that is: the fried with oranges, the boiled with a good green sauce which should be made sour with a little vinegar, and the roast of the said pike should be eaten with green verjuice made of sorrel. At the foot of the other tower an endored piglet looking out and spitting fire; and at the foot of the other tower a swan which has been skinned and reclothed, also spitting fire. And in the middle of the four towers in the lower court a fountain of Love, from which fountain there should flow by a spout rosewater and clear wine; and above the said fountain are cages with doves and all flying birds. And on the heights of the said castle are standards, banners, and pennons; and beside the said fountain is a peacock which has been skinned and reclothed. And for this, I Chiquart have said before, I would like to teach to the said master who is to make it the art of the said peacock, and this to do courtesy and honor to his lord and master, that is to take a large fat goose, and spit it well and put it to roast well and cleanly and gaily [quickly?], and to recloth it in the plumage of the peacock and put it in the place where the peacock should be set, next to the fountain of love, with the wings extended; and make the tail spread, and to hold the neck raised high, as if it were alive, put a stick of wood inside the said neck which will make it hold straight. And for this the said cook must not flay the said peacock, but take the pinions to put on the goose and take the skin of the rump of the peacock where the feathers are held all together; and when it goes onto the goose, to make good skewers to make the said goose spread its tail as properly as the peacock if it were alive.
And on the battlements of the lower court should be chickens skinned and reclothed and endored, and endored hedgehogs, and endored apples made of meat, Spanish pots made of meat all endored; molded figures, that is: hares, brachets, deer, boars, the hunters with their horns, partridge, crayfish, dolphin, peas all molded and beans made all of molded meat. The curtains of the said castle which go all around the castle, should be so large hanging to the ground that one cannot see the bearers of the said castle. And the said curtains from the ground to two feet up should be painted with waves of water and large sea flowers; and among the said waves should be painted all sorts of fish, and above the said waters and waves should be galleys and ships full of people armed in all ways so that it seems they come to attack the said fortress and castle of Love, which appears to be on a great rock in the sea, of which people some are archers, crossbowmen, others are furnished with lances, others with ladders to lean against the said fortress, these climbing and those descending and pushing the others off, these divided and other things, these hard pressed and those in retreat, these being killed by arrows and those by stones.
And within the curtains should be three or four young children playing very well, one a rebec, another a lute, psaltery, or harp, and others who have good voices to sing appropriate, sweet, and pleasant songs so that one is aware that these are sirens in the sea by their clear singing.
And the peacock which is mentioned above, which by the advice of me, Chyquart, is the result of artifice, take it and clean it very well and then dry it well and properly, and spit it and put it to roast; and when it is nearly roasted stud it with good whole cloves well and properly; and if the surface is spoiled put it to roast again. And then let your lord know about your trick with the peacock and he can then arrange for what he wants done.
Oh yeah...
This is going to require a huge amount of planning to accomplish. Stay tuned for a wild ride.

#castleoflove

Improving the game? Or snobbery?

One of the things I've been struggling with the last few weeks is that balance between wanting to improve my personal/local "game" and not wanting to be a snobbish asshole who demands elitism. Much of the argument is internal to be fair, but when it starts to affect my outside worldview I worry about crossing the line.

I've been on a personal kick to improve my game for the past few weeks. So much of my fun has been in losing myself in another time/place, but as I've played longer in the SCA it's become tricky. A lot of these limitations are mine, where I focused so much on food I did not develop as well in other areas and those moments began to remove me from the fun. I grew self-conscious of my patched together miss-matched outfits, I was embarrassed at my lazy attempts at heraldry, I couldn't find my personas way out of a paper bag with hazily touched upon studies. I realized this was something that was troubling me, and I have finally started taking the steps I needed to up my game.

Come Fall Coronation I should have a total of 6 new outfits for every occasion, and flags of heraldry to represent myself and my home proudly. I'm converting my personal kits to have a more period look, putting my spices into jars and looking into transporting my gear for all seasons in period style containers. I'm really excited to bring myself to a better personal game, and that in turn has inspired me to share more of what I love and help others raise their games as well.  But in expanding my view, I've noticed myself feeling almost...snobbish or frustrated with others who don't seem to want to even try. And I try not to let it affect me too much, but still...

A conversation in regards to feasts brought this up again today. We strive to have a period presence in everything we do, but with food it always seem to be a struggle. Why? I just don't understand it, and I get frustrated when I see menus which are not even pretending to look period, or hear people telling me I shouldn't care so much about it. I do care, and I get frustrated that so many others don't. But on the other hand, I haven't gotten a bunch of crap for how I've looked or camped if it wasn't up to par with the others around me.

I'm just stuck in a loss as I puzzle this, how to address it. I now the first step is to improve my own game, but how to I enhance and improve the game around me? How do I help others make those next steps, even in thins they perhaps dot see a need to do? 

Am I working to improve the game, or am I just a snob?

Facing the mirror

St. Val's feast had me facing something terrifying. I was uncomfortable the whole time, anxious and nervous. I think this feast was the hardest thing I've done so far, because I had to face my greatest challenges in it. I had to face myself during this, I had to face my own failings and mistakes. I had to realize my own limitations, further more I had to realize when I was sabotaging myself. This feast helped me realize all that.

Long time ago, I was that gifted kid in class. I was the one who was ahead of every lesson, I could pick up and sight read music for nearly any instrument, I was reading at a college level by 5th grade and I was always on top. I didn't have to try, I didn't have to really work to be successful. Not until 7th grade, I ran into my first challenge then when I was put into the 8th grade advanced math course. Suddenly I had to try, I was just...average. I failed.

I couldn't handle it, the failing. I began to think that maybe I wasn't smart, that I couldn't do all these things. That I was just this fraud...that my life to that point was wrong and a lie. So I stopped trying. I started holding back, I chose to take no action and let things just happen. I began to rationalize that if I didn't actually try then I would never really know how well I could actually do or know how badly I could fail. I took the easiest route, I avoided challenges and just let myself fail through inaction rather than make an effort.

I did this for so long, that it just became my MO. I took the easy roads, I let the chips fall where they may instead of trying and I just let life rule me. I made so many poor choices through inaction, that I began to believe my own bullshit. Even when I joined up with the SCA the second time, what I did while fun was no real challenge to me. I could just...do it without trying. So I did things for fun, and nothing was amiss. Then I hit Fall Coronation 2015.

I devoted a year of my life to that feast. I studied Japanese culture, I read their mythology and history from pre-history to Edo. I learned about their poems and their songs, their wars and heroes. All of this so I could understand a new cooking style, to understand a culture that was incredibly foreign to everything I've known. I got to the feast after a year of work...and I did a good job. I made plenty of mistakes, the list if I were to get into it would be huge if I were to be frank, but it was still a damned good feast. It wasn't my best, but for the first time in a long time I really tried and while I didn't quite reach that top gold rung I got a good silver pedestal. But everyone else...I couldn't escape the praise. I couldn't escape the constant well wishes and the regular compliments, and the more praise was heaped at me the more I began to resent the feast. I hadn't been the best, I had just passed, why was everyone making a huge deal about my failures?

I started another downward spiral. I started to rethink every success I had over the last five years and began to tell myself that even my easy successes had just been failures that people didn't realize. As I began to work on my next feast for St. Val's, I couldn't focus. Even working with a fantastic partner, I did not put anywhere near the effort I normally did into it. I expected to fail, I expected that it would be ruined and thus I put almost zero effort or work towards it. I just couldn't muster the energy to care.

Then I was suddenly forced to care. St. Val's was to host Art/Sci, and I had to look at the 3/4 completed project I had left in rambles and face the fact that it was me who ensured it couldn't be entered. I had to fave the fact that the feast was going to be hurt because I didn't support my comrade, and my friends were gonna have a bad night because I was selfish and didn't want to admit that I lacked such confidence in myself. My friends know I have such little ego, so when I looked into the mirror that day the next thought that came was akin to a slap in the face.

I looked into the mirror, and realized I had been holding back for years because I was too afraid to really try. I had never really tried at anything for years until fall coronation, and I was willing to throw that all away. 

I was a flurry of work from that point on. I pushed myself to recover for lost time, I improvised recipes on instinct and potions/flavor profiles on just a fundamental understanding. Hell, I recreated a recipe I had eaten 2 years ago based on memory of taste/texture and a few tips on assorted chickpea recipes I found online. I gave it a real effort that last little bit of time, to just be good again. I made a huge number of mistakes, but I had a great team member supporting me and a great crew to work with all day. I faced my fear of failure instead of hiding, I gave it a real try for my friends sake. 

We did a real good feast, hot food was hot and cold food was cold. Everyone liked the taste, and everyone had plenty to eat. I had a great co-Feastcrat who worked with me to make a great experience. I had a great hall steward who did a fantastic job of organizing the hall and servers. I had great friends who supported me and helped me get through it. I got a chance to look in the mirror and realize that if I actually tried...if I put real effort into my passion without fear of failure...that maybe I could have my best feast yet.

I feel good. I got hurt, I got knocked down. But for the first time I realize that it's my fault for the pain, and now I can stand back up and keep moving forward.

An Crosaire has always been a place of beginnings, of renewals for me. Seems like it did it again.

Post-foodem Part 2: 30th Year Feast Dishes

In this second part, I want to break down all the dishes and some thought on each one. Lots of pictures here!

Ah, white rice. This came out lovely, Mikey had a much better way of cooking this than I had on hand which gave the same light and fluffy texture. Good stickiness, and Corey shaped the domes perfectly. Love this rice!

This was my collection of pickles; ginger, plum, carrot and turnip. The plum was intense, a sweet and spicy mixture I found tantalizing. The pickled carrots and turnips were a classic hit, a lovely flavor. What surprised me was how popular the pickled ginger was, for it was a very harsh flavor but I didn't have any left over at the end of feast!

This was my Fresh "Crane" soup, and it was one of my better dishes. The duck I used for flavor was light and frothy, providing a great flavor. The mushroom water added in rally bolstered the flavor without overpowering. I wish I had added a little more salt to the finished product, I thought it would have made it ZING!

Water chesnuts were water chestnuts. They were meant to be eaten with other items, and as a palette cleanser. SOOO glad I bought pre-sliced ones, saved me such more prep time.

I swear, there were sick sticks on here...these were one of the most popular course items. I'm super proud of them, and glad I decided to lengthen the marinade time on the chickens. Each stick had alternating chicken and squash chunks, and the squash was super fresh and yummy. I never actually ate the finished product of this one after testing,just licked the glaze off a spoon...

My Uji River! Presentation on this didn't look how I wanted, this nori was a little softer than I had licked and I switched plates for ease of service, but the noodles were PERFECT thanks to Jason! The Udon was super tasty, and most people were surprised at the cool noodles but greatly enjoyed the flavor and texture. I ate a crap ton of these myself.

This pine cone tofu looks so perfect, isn't it cute? Tasted so terrible though...I had some people try and eat it, but I hate tofu. I loved reading the little poem with this dish, it made me smile!

This was my rock-star dish, I am so proud of this miso soup. Thanks to Andi for the suggestion of the fresh wakame, this already amazing soup became stellar. The secret ingredient was fresh fish stock, I used the water made from parboiling the tuna sashimi. So good...none of this came back!

This is two dishes, the sushi on top and the sashimi underneath. The fish was expertly cut by Corey, and the rice shaped by Andi/Jason/Mikey. As per period accounted, the sashimi was lightly teamed/boiled to heighten the flavor but not cook, while the sushi was served fresh with a strong rice vinegar rice bed. This was perfect and beautiful.

Another presentation piece I wasn't very thrilled with, issues in creation meant my bird heads never were able to be made. That's ok, I still topped them with a nice treat designed by Andi! I loved how the eggplant did a great job cooking and toasting the items inside, made a very tasty meal.

Meh...wasn't that thrilled with this one. I feel like it looks pretty, and is just tasty for me, but most people found the cabbage a bit too chewy That's a bit frustrating, and I know a lot came back, but you can't win with every dish. Next time I do fresh cabbage like this, I will just salt and sit instead of the saltwater brine.

Fresh fruit is so darling, and such a rarity in European cooking! I loved the floral arrangement for the citrus, and the pears just had this sharp elegance in the way they were cut. It looks like small stones of white and green blooming from a flower. Very lovely!

Another dish combination, this is my red bean paste dessert and the fresh mochi. The red bean desert was weird, I wasn't sure of the texture at first but it and the taste won me over rapidly. Thanks to Corey for the shape, he did a wonderful job on the cutting process. The mochi was also so yummy, and the green tea flavoring was refreshing! I'm not a big fan of the seeds on it, the texture tasted a bit off to me, but the kinako flour on the other just heightened the natural flavor.

Thank you for taking the time to follow my adventures in this feast! If you would like any of the recipes for any of thee dishes, feel free to email me at canatsey86@gmail.com and I would happily share them.

Post-foodem Part 1: 30th Year Feast

I've taken a lot of time away from this feast, to digest and decompress everything that happened. I read through my notes I made, got feedback from patrons and fellow cooks, and now feel confidant to tackle this detailed breakdown.

To start...I kinda rocked the house. Everything went great, the food looked good and tasted good, there was just the right portions and I had a wonderful time. I had some of the best help a head cook can ask for, and some of the most loyal friends. This was an amazing effort from everyone involved, and we all knocked this shit out of the park. I know I already made a large thank you post right here, but I just wanted to stress that point home.

Top 5 What Worked - 

1) Study - I spent a whole bloody year putting myself out of my comfort zone, studying a new culture as well as cooking style. Spending all that time becoming so familiar with the food to truly know it was a huge advantage, when issues and errors happened I was able to quickly react to fixing it.

2) Trust the experts - Who prepares Japanese food better than the Japanese? I purchased pre-made pickles, pre-made miso and other critical ingredients from the culture to best recreate the food. The grocery store clerks gave me the best options for cooking many foods and often recommended ingredients that I normally wouldn't have purchased (but came out better because of their recommendations). Yes I studied for a year, but these people have lived this food for decades and they will understand it better in ways I never will.

3) Trust my volunteers - One of the hard things is always letting go and trusting others when they have the ball, even when you're the team captain. There were plenty of times where I trusted the fantastic instincts of Corey when it came to cooking food, when I couldn't see what he saw and let him go. When you assigning tasks to folks you are trusting that they'll follow instructions to get what you want, but also trusting that f they can improve it they will. A good example is the red bean paste desert, I had envisioned tall/thin cuts in a deep pan, but Corey was confidant that short/wide would get the better result and look. And he was totally right, I was so much happier with the finished cut he did than my own. That's trusting your volunteers.

4) Feast menu's, schedules and instructions - I loved how I posted everything on the walls. Having it out in the open for everyone to check, double the sheets to force me to double check everything, and having in high traffic areas really helped a lot. Definitely adding this to my feast prep package.

5) Portions - Nuff said, I portioned the hell out of this feast and am proud of my math. I went to the limit on so many dishes, I was very proud of my math and my purchasing ability (all which was double/triple checked by my wife thank goodness!).

Top 5 What Didn't Worked - 

1) No solid book - I loved how I did my menu's and schedule this time, having it posted in multiple spots was really awesome. But what I found myself missing was an actual feast book, like I've done in the past. I didn't like the loose leaf copies of recipes, and many times I felt myself looking for my book. I think I'm gonna do the postings and the books, for my own sanity.

2) Not scheduling enough water/food breaks - Yeah...I failed on this one. I got stressed a lot during times, and it took me a while to realize I wasn't eating/drinking enough. I normally have to schedule myself these breaks, and I didn't put in as many as I needed this time around. Next feast I need to take care and take care of myself better, so I don't get too hungry or thirsty.

3) Serving the H.A. room - I had a blast serving this room, and my two servers did a great job with me, but in the end it made me more twitchy than I prefer. I don't like being out front when I cook feast, I like to be in the kitchen and hear reports. I'm glad I did this for the experience, but in the future I will stick to my kitchen!

4) Measuring cups - Soooo much food was so tightly controlled, it'show my portioning worked as well as it did. But that meant I needed TIGHT portion control of ingredients, and the kitchen was lacking severely in various cups. I know for future adventures that I need to bring my own if I am in need of a specific size measuring tool.

5) No solid cleaning plan - Unlike Ocala or other sites, I've never had to worry a great deal about dirt and outdoor mess getting into the kitchen. Not true with this site, the doors and airflow bring in a crap ton of dirt and muck from the outside into the kitchen. I didn't have a plan for dealing with this, so I frequently found myself delayed as I wiped or swept various areas. Need to remember at least every other hour cleaning checks.

Next post I will break down each dish and make a few comments on each.

Feast Thank You's

Any project is composed of multiple parts, and a feast is not just the head cook; dozens of people play a vital role in making a dream become a reality. Before I delve into a full breakdown of my feast I want to take the time and thank many key people in this successful journey.

Three people deserve special mention, for all they helped me make this feast a reality. Kristin picked up a dropped ball at the literal last minute, she helped make my feast hall vision a reality and without her I would not have been such a success. If you appreciated the hall at all, please send her a note of thanks. Andi, my Laurel, of course deserves special mention for all she did for me. From counciling and advise to slapping me silly and keeping me focused, she was the rock I needed. Of course I cannot forget to thank Corey amongst these three, in the kitchen and outside of it he was my right hand in everything i did. He and I had been working towards this project for many months, and he never left my side in the kitchen. I could not have completed this meal without his skilled hand and artistic vision, he deserves much praise.

My sister Ever is a wonderful person as well, she took on the hard job of organizing servers for this and did an amazing job. Molly, Fionnula, Deniese and all the Butterflies did an amazing job helping wherever they could and however they could; I wish I knew everyone's names who I saw lending a hand so I could find them and hug them so very tight. I was overjoyed that my lovely wife Sarah made it from work to spend the day with me and experience feast, that really cheered me. And my lovely family who barreled in to clean my kitchen, Far-Flung is my family and I am proud to be one of theirs as well.

His Majesty continues to surprise me, kudos to him for that, and I was humbled to receive such an honor for my feast. I loved my crowd who all attended the High Authenticity experience, their participation and willingness to go full on board made me smile so much. The event staff who allowed me to chase this dream, those who donated items to decorate the hall and even those who stopped me to make sure I had eaten or had water: thank you so much.

For all the people who helped and I cannot name, thank you for what you did for me and my Dream.

Reflections on an Event: Fall Coronation 2015

Fall Coronation has come and gone once again, the start of our Trimarian new year in many regards, and as always it was an ending of old and beginning of new. In future posts this week I will delve deeper into the feast, but for now an overview of my time.

I had an utter bast all weekend. We started a new site for Kingdom events and I fell in love right away. Long winding paths, deep woods and a beautiful lake adorned the camp and the stars at night were just beautiful to spy while laying in the grass. My only concern is the actual lack of light on site, without a lamp or flashlight of some kind is a must to avoid any pitfalls while traveling. The kitchen is quite lovely, an important feature for me obviously, and the hall is in such a great grid for planning designs. I think this site is going to be a wonderful addition to our Kingdom and well used for years to come.

As always, my personal connections with people changes at this event. Andi and I got to welcome a new person into our household with Jason accepting an apprentice belt, and I felt we really bonded over the weekend even more. My friendship and love for Kristen and the Butterflies continues to grow, many of them going out of their way to be overly kind in ways I could never expect. The Butterflies made me cry in good ways all the time, and I hope to find some way to repay them. I got to spend some quality time with many new SCA friends, deepen my friendship with others and made some brand new friends as we bonded over food!

I was very happy to see my wife recognized with an award in Court, and was quite surprised by my own given to me at the end of feast by the King. Many good friends and good people got well deserved awards and honors, and seeing peoples smiles when given gifts of favors always touches my heart. Seeing such great acts and lovely behavior inspires me, inspires me to be better and improve in the year to come.

The tradition is at new years that you make a "resolution", a promise of a thing you will do in the upcoming year. I feel like this is a thing I should do, and I know I can accomplish this goal because I have friends and family that will support me. My Trimarian new year resolution is that I will become a Gulf Wars Champion with this years Art/Sci entry.

What's yours?

Preparations of a Feast Part 5

So far we've talked about the food culture, what food is being served, its flavor profile and appearance. Today, in my final post before the event, I want to talk about how you the guest should go into my feast to get the best eating experience.

When you sit down, the table will be decorated simply. This is done intentionally, to help you get into the simplistic mindset that the food will be dwelling in. Chopsticks will be provided for each guest, though not required it is highly encouraged that you eat with them to get the best experience. The chopsticks are very important, they will control your portioning as well as keep you eating each bite in the proper method. Japanese food culture evolved around chopsticks, using them will help you best experience this.

On the table before you will be some paper explaining much f what's on the table, and encouraging you to explore it. Once table service has begun, drinks will be served to refresh and prepare the palette for the food that will be consumed. The first course will be served as it would be for the Shogun himself, the dishes will  be announced and one at a time will they be presented. The Shogun (in this case TRM Trimaris) will approve the first course and the dishes will be given to the populous. The dishes can be eaten in any order or combination, each "course" is designed for all the food to be eaten as one, but there is a recommended order to trying them and the servers will bring the dishes in that order. 

With my artistic pieces, the servers will present this dish then read a haiku for the table. This poem pertains to the dish, it is meant to be pondered and considered as it is eaten to better enjoy, or if you wish to abstain then to simply admire the art and think on what the poem means to you. 

Each course will be brought out in such order, until the meal is complete. Take your time, enjoy each bite and relish the flavors as they blend and work within you. Your bites will be small due to the chopsticks, savor each one. Enjoy the work put before you, and let it inspire you and cause you to think of your own art that you endeavor. This is simple pleasures, simple joys of nourishment and companionship. Let the meal slowly ebb and flow into you like the tide, in no hurry and at its own pace.

For those sitting in my special seating, your experience will be quite similar but still has its unique qualities. Beyond the room decoration, each place setting will be provided for you. You will dine on pillows as is tradition, and will be honored guests of the Shogun and thus will be served by the head cook directly. It will be a fun time for everyone!

Thank you for following this progress, and for supporting me in this endeavor. This feast is by far the most complex I've ever done, and it is a labor of love not just by me but my friends and family as well. Expect a recap of the meal after the event.

Preparations for a Feast Part 4

As I said in a previous entry, one of the things I felt the need to touch on was how important the image of the food was to the meal itself. Yes the mood had to taste good, yes the food have to taste CORRECT (which I covered in Part 3); but almost as importantly the food had to LOOK artistic as well. Especially considering the “optional” food dishes, this is a topic I want to discuss in depth here.

    In Japanese high culture, art was the thing. The house was designed with art in mind, the clothing was an art, the weapons and armor had an artistic bent and to that even the food was artistic in nature. It was a sign of high culture, of refinement, that you were able to produce not only a good tasting meal but a good looking one at that. Understanding the artistic styles and applying them to food was an amazing gift that was meant to be shared, this is an aspect I am trying to emulate upcoming feast.

    So let’s talk about that, shall we? The food itself is to be a work of art, so it must look the part. Sauces will be carefully placed, not to smear or dribble about in presentation. Vegetables and fruit will be cut as square and clean as possible, to show off the angles of the cut. Plating will be warm and inviting, food will be arranged to create shapes or images (like my Triskle Chesnut design I’m gonna do) and the colors will be vibrant to stand out against the stark white serving gear. The idea for this artistic display is to heighten the taste of the food and appreciation for the skill of the artisan crafting it. It wasn’t just what was served on, it was the served items themselves.

    Another aspect to this style is food designed for appreciation, not so much for eating. A massive show of wealth, these were dishes that used inedible ingredients for color/shape or were often not that tasty. You were meant to reflect upon the nature of the dish, see what the dish meant to you, perhaps hear a haiku read about such a dish or just appreciate the artistic touch gone into crafting it. I have three such dishes, mine will all be edible because food science has given me a modern edge, and each is unique in its theme. The Pine Cone Tofu will be a baked tofu shaped to look like a pine cone and covered in sweet spices, it is shaped to look like a pine cone before it releases its seeds in promise of new life. The Uji River is designed to resemble the mighty river in the thaws of spring and new beginnings, Udon noodles dyed blue will run along the caramel colored sauce with pieces of Nori carefully placed along the sides to represent the green hills. Lastly is my Blue Sea Soup, a chilled cold soup of fruit juice dyed blue and topped with fresh made whip cream waves (fish shaped mochi topped with red bean paste will be served on the side which go delightfully well with the tasty dessert). 

    These dishes will be something amazing to look at, and I eagerly look forward to sharing them with my guests. This whole feast experience has been amazing, and I want to thank you for following along with me thus far. I have one last post to write before the big day, on how people who eat the food to get the full experience, which will come out soon. Stay tuned!

Preparations of a Feast Part 3

Couple of things before we get into the meat and potatoes of this post:

I recently did a redesign of my blog layout. I wanted it to be easier for everyone to read, I tagged similar posts so you could read specific posts and hopefully made this a better experience for you. Any feedback you have would be appreciated!

I did change my URL for this blog, so if you keep me bookmarked please update with the new URL above!

It’s still a work in progress, and I plan on doing more redesign work in the next few weeks. Stay tuned!

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In my last post, one of the things I said I wanted to discuss was the flavor profiles of the food for this feast. The food here will be different than what most people with a Western palate are used to dining on, even more so for period food in the SCA. Japan, and other “Eastern” cultures in many extents, had a unique flavoring and seasoning palate for their food. For Japan, especially during the Edo Period, this style of cooking was already well settled into the cultural ideals and thus we have a fantastic view on not just how they viewed food but culture as well.

In French of English cooking, the use of spice and varied cooking techniques was designed to transform the food. Take the steak and vegetables, change the flavor with spice and styles of cooking, adjust and transform. All this is wonderful food, and I have cooked plenty Western styles of dish to a rousing success. But I can’t do that here...that’s not how it was done in Japan. In their style of cooking, the Japanese did not test their culinary art in how they could change the flavor of the dish but how they could accept and highlight the natural flavor of the ingredients and dish. This has been a challenge!

Take for example my Fresh Crane Soup. There are a number of challenges involved with this dish that I had to struggle with, and I want to use this as an example of Japanese flavor profiling. The Japanese viewed crane as a delicacy, something for the upper nobility, and thus this was a carefully crafted dish. The soups of Japan were more like broths, meant to prep the body for a meal and not to be a meal unto itself, so had light flavor and were served warm-to-hot to enhance the flavor. You boil and cook with natural complimenting ingredients so the flavor isn’t lost, and the soup is the lead in of another major dish. Had miso before? That’s another great example.

And thus the challenge begins. Crane is not something viable for me to get in bulk, so I had to substitute for duck (which one document I read says happened regularly as the the flavors were very close in taste). I had to unlearn everything I knew about making soup, just to perfect this dish. Instead of a chunky meal-type dish, I had to minimalize the amount of meat that would be in the soup without sacrificing flavor. To enhance I’m adding mushrooms and light spice to season, these will compliment the taste of the bird as well as enhance the flavor of the soup. I will serve is more on the warm side than the hot, to mellow a bit of the sharpness from one of the ingredients added as it blends best when warmed. The portions will be small, maybe 4/6oz of soup at MAX to not overindulge the flavor onto the guest. This way you are getting the natural, enhanced flavor of the soup expressed how it “should be”. This will be done for every dish.

That’s another thing I feel needs to be discussed with flavor, portion sizes. Along with the correct flavor, the correct AMOUNT of the flavor is also an important thing to take note on. In Western styles of cooking you would pile meats and sauces and vegetables high, you ate larger portions because there would be (on average) less dish options available. In this Japanese style each portion is carefully measured and weighed out to match not just the flavor but its place in the meal. My first course is SEVEN dishes, which means portion sizes will be small and gradually increase in small doses as the meal progresses. What that means is each guest will be given a 4/6oz portion of soup, 2/3 bites of pickle, 2 bird skewers, 3/4 chestnuts, one long and thick chopstick wrap of oolong noodle, etc. Each bite is carefully planned for so by the end of the meal the guest is comfortably full, each flavor is appreciated in kind and no one dish overpowers another. 

On my next post I will be discussing the illusion food aspect that I will attempt with each dish, how important it was to the dining experience and what you can expect to see at the event!

Preparations of a Feast Part 2

So in my last post we did a general overview of what is to be served at 30th year, today we discuss exactly what will be served. My menu for the event is thus:

Main Tray (Course 1)

Furesshukurēnsūpu 

(Fresh Crane soup)

Pikurusu

(Pickles)

Hakumai

(White Rice)

Kushi ni chīsana tori

(Small Birds on Skewers)

Ujigawa

(Uji River)

Kuri

(Chestnuts)

Painkōn tōfu

(Pine cone Tofu)

Second Tray (Course 2)

Fujisan no sarada

(Mt. Fuji salad)

Misoshiru

(Miso soup)

Sashimi

Jā-yaki sunaipu

(Grilled Snipe in Jars)

Edomaesushi

Third Tray (Course 3)

Mochigome

(Sweet rice)

Mikan to anto furūtsu

(Tangerines and Ant Fruit)

Burūshīsūpu

(Blue Sea Soup)

That sure does look like a lot of food, doesn’t it? A proper meal arranged like this does contain many dishes, but portion control is king in this style. One of the things to remember is that the primary eating utensil of the time was chopsticks, so each bite is designed to be properly sized for chopsticks. As well, each person can only eat so much food, and it was rude to snub a dish that was provided for you so culturally at least a bite was required. Over so many dishes, across such a wide variety of food, you would end up eating small amounts of each dish to be full in time for the end of the meal!

So when my guests sit down to dine at 30th year, they will not see mountains and piles of food on a plate but delicate and calculated portions. This is important for each of my guests to understand, so much so that I have created special cue cards for all my servers detailing not just things like ingredients/allergies but also portion sizes. Yes you may only be eating 2-3 pieces of sushi...but after already so much food will you really notice?

Another key detail is talking about some of the food itself. When a Western culture-raised individual thinks of a soup, perhaps you imagine hearty chunks of food and a creamy broth in a full bowl. You’re not wrong, and I’m hungry just thinking about it but that is not the Period Japanese style in terms of soup. A soup for them was light, sometimes savory or sweet, a deep rich broth filled with unique flavor. The soup was not a meal in itself, it was meant to be a part of a meal. With my Fresh Crane Soup for example, there will not be huge chunks of meat floating around to snag; it will be a delicate broth meant to add flavor, heighten anticipation for the next item and compliment the meal. 

Flavor profiles are something huge I also need to discuss, and will in my next post to more detail. Japanese valued a simple style in their art, and food was most definitely an art! You were meant to appreciate and admire the flavor of the white rice, the simple pleasure of melting tuna in edomaesushi, the crisp bite of eggplant or the rich soy flavor in a noodle. These are dishes not heavily spiced, or flavored to change the taste profile; these dishes were meant to be enjoyed as the flavor stood. Light seasoning to enhance the flavor will happen, and there is so much more I need to touch on this that i will on my next post.

In one last example, and another that I’m realizing needs a post all to itself, Japanese food of this period relied heavily on illusion and subtly. The art was not just in how it tastes, but how it looked. This is where things changed dramatically, yes the white rice was supposed to taste like rice but it was also supposed to be sculpted and shaped to look like a swan! Illusion food was such a commonplace that much of the text doesn’t even talk about how you should go out of your way to accomplish this; at the end it offhandedly talks about how you should make the food look. There are even dishes that are served that you are not required, or sometimes not even intended, to eat! The whole purpose of these dishes is to admire, reflect on what they mean to you and let their appearance and beauty enhance your eating experience. I have 3 such dishes in this feast alone; the Uji River, the Mt Fuji salad and the Blue Sea soup (all of which I will be discussing in detail in said next blog post).

What you can take away from this is that the food is going to be art, not just in visual style but in taste. It is my goal to preserve and enhance the natural flavors within each dish, to shape them to be visually pleasing and give my guests a unique dining experience they many not have had before in Trimaris. Portions will be small, but the whole meal will be filing with each bite.

Next time, I will dive deeper into the flavor profiles of my meals. Stay tuned!

Eulogy for Camp Ocala

Camp Ocala for me has been the foundation of my time in the SCA. Many sites have changed, but so far in my life there has only ever been one kingdom site. I find it fitting that at the last event I was able to cook in the kitchen and serve feast one last time, which made my weekend all the more sweet. I have a bunch of fond memories of this site, but there are two right now that I'd like to record for my own sake. I hope you enjoy this small trip with me down memory lane.

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 My first kingdom event was TMT, Mideon and Rose were the crown at the time and my friend Ever had someone convinced me to call out of work for 3 days of the hottest weekend in the year to camp. I sat and watched my first crown Lyst that weekend, I fell in love with the contest and have tried to see every crown lyst I can ever since. I remember I sat under the An Crosaire pavilion, next to Ever and she told me a bit about each fighter. I later got up and helped her with waterbearing, which got me up close to the action.

At that first TMT, Ever had managed to get me into the retaining schedule. She and I had talked about it before hand and I thought it would be a great time, this was also the first time I would meet my now friend Kristin. She gave me a once over and asked if I wouldn't mind doing "party detail" for His Majesty that night. At the time I thought this was just dandy, because party detail seemed pretty simple. Inhad one major task beyond the usual retainer duties: make sure His Majeaty did not have an empty cup.

As we traveled to the first party, His Majesty requested a drink from the "bar" in his mug and I happily had the beverage poured. I did one of my favorite activities (people-watching) while keeping an eye on His Majesty and the mug. As the liquid got lower I started to eye all the bar and figure out how to refill the glass, but the King had other plans. He had tried a sip of the drink from another individual and changed his mind to wanting that. He asked that I fill his mug with the new drink, and I asked him where I should pour out the last of his old drink. He gave me a laugh and told me to just "kill it quick" and top him off, so I finished the last of the drink and refilled his mug.

Little did I know this would be the normal situation, and party detail quickly became a challenge as we both got more and more drunk into the night.

***

This was the first site that I took Sarah to,  when we started dating. I took her to MMM, another Crown Lyst, and we had a blast. Seeing the event through her eyes as she experienced it was a joy, and making sure she met Ever and all my other friends was vital. She helped set up a pavilion (Brenna and Kro's in fact), she began to scribe with Lana for the first time and we both got to bear water together while my friends Jake and Karou fenced under the big oak tree.

My favorite moment of that was late in the night, walking along the waterline and is sharing a kiss and some quiet time. The sounds of laughter, the smells of fire wafted, but for a few moments it was just the two of us. It was the first time that I really felt a lasting connection with Sarah, that maybe this relationship would be different from any other I had in the past.

***

I have so many wonderful memories from the site, and I'm sure I'll post more stories as I feel inspired. But these were two things that stood out to me today in reflection.

Reflections on a Feast - TMT 2015

AndBefore I begin, I want to emphasize to any of my readers that the purpose of this blog is for me. It is a place I can reflect on my experiences and share my works, but most importantly it is a place for me to be brutally honest about what I do so I can learn. It helps me to explore why things work or don't, and give me things to look back on.

For starters, this was a very rough feast for me.

I'm not saying this was a bad feast, in many ways it was a success. Food was good, plenty of noms for folks, the shtick was lovely and everyone dining had a great time. Most people never really saw the cracks in the foundation either, which is also a success. This feast, by many standards of measurement, was a success and thus was a good feast. But this doesn't make it smooth or less than rough.

1) Feast Planning - My first stumbling blocks were at the very beginning with my feast planning. Now I had plenty of work into this, many test feasts and culinary food runs helped me plan this one out months before. I had a good firm foundation of planning, but things distracted me towards the end. The stress and strain of my job, combined with the stress and strain that this began to put on my relationships, distracted me.

What this caused was me to make a quite dramatic mathematical error in planning my shopping. While shopping for dry goods it wasn't too obvious, but as the food numbers began to add up with the produce and meat I was suddenly made quite aware. This was a rocky start to my weekend, which I had to scramble to correct. It also became difficult because I had purchased many dry ingredients slowly over the weeks and in many ways I overbought on too much.

As well, in the hustle and bustle many small items got left. My feast box had many pieces missing that I forgot to account for, and some really vital equipment didn't make it to site. This made me have to shuffle around to deal with site equipment, and more often than not I did not have everything I needed to provide to my volunteers.

2) On Site Prep (Friday/Saturday) - Friday was a long day. Yes I completed every task I needed to, but I poorly scheduled out many items. I was so focused on accomplishing prep goals on Friday that i overloaded myself on tiny tasks to get done. There were several small things that I should had done earlier in the week to make my life easier (see previous mention of former job stress being a distraction) that instead I tried to cram into the event and clogged me quite a bit.

Another thing that really hurt me was injuring myself. Yes I have hurt myself before (and probably will in the future), but the severity of this injury shook my confidence and really wrecked me. I was being cocky, cutting too much too quickly, and took a nice chunk out of my pinky. It bled for 2 hours, the wound gaped open and by all rights I should have simply gotten stitches. But I didn't, on reflection a poor choice. This made me go a bit unhinged and took the wind out of my sails.

What I mean by this is that while I normally have a great confidence in my ability, after 2 hours of being stuck and bleeding I started to second guess everything I did. I got nervous, uncomfortable and unsure. Dishes I had been practicing for months I wanted to suddenly change, I was unsure of portion control. Thank the gods I had my Laurel and one of my best cooking friends in the kitchen for me, to sometimes even smack me around when I needed it.

When I get nervous and uncomfortable, I start to get very micromanagie. I want my hands on everything, to grab and hold it tight when I don't feel I'm in control. More times than not this weekend I was in total control, but because I did not feel it I caused nothing but issues. There were times Madhavi had to force me away from a thing, because I just didn't need to be involved in what was going on.

3) Clean-up/departure - With my original clean-up plans falling through several times, having grabbed someone to cover the food replacement plan was nice. I still had issues here, because now that nerves were over I wasn't as focused on clean-up as I should have been. I don't feel I was polite to my fellow Cook and I felt like I did not set her up for success as much as I'd like to. I tried to get my things out as early as I could muster, but I know I was still muchly in her way.

As far as food removal, I feel I was less than stellar. I know I grabbed my leftovers that I knew were staged, but I know for a fact I left dry goods by accident on site. I fear I may have left more, and hopefully a good beat down from Wolfmom will better help me correct myself in the future. 

I know that there is a lot of things I did well, a lot of kitchen wizardry I pulled from my hood to make some magic happen. The food tasted great, the portions worked and every guest had an amazing time. But I feel it's important to recognize not just my successes, but my mistakes. It's how I learn, it's how I grow as a person and an apprentice. 

Next post will be much more positive, as well as a discussion of my favorite moments. But for today, I acknowledge my mistakes and am happy to have the learning experience.

Preparations of a Feast - Part 1

Coming up this Labor Day weekend will be my third, and most ambitious, kingdom feast yet. I am doing a period Early Edo feast, inspired by the feast the Emperor of Japan hosted to celebrate the second Shogun of the Edo Period. There are so many facets to this feast that I need to discuss, not just the food but the culture around the food, and my Laurel found the best way to do this would be a series of blogs. She is right, as per normal on things, so I'm starting a multi-part discussion on my feast and my process.

I wanna start this off by discussing Japan as a culture, how it got to this point and what we can glean from the food. One of the things I find fascinating is I can learn so much from a culture based on what/how they eat! In studying the food and meal preparation of this feast I have learned a great deal about Japanese culture and I feel enriched like never before.

The first thing to understanding this feast was for me to wrap my head around the time period this took place. This is just after the end of the greatest Japanese civil war, the Sengoku Jidai or Waring States Period. It was a time of great strife that lasted decades, with clans rising and falling and the whole social structure receiving a massive overhaul by the end going into the Edo period. What we know from that time is that with life in so much turmoil for the populous, many traditions were held tightly to the chest and ritual habits of everyday life became sacred and gained great importance. People NEEDED some stability in their lives, it's a human trait, and that's evidenced by many of the cultural shifts and changes. This also applies to their food.

Beginning in what in Europe would be referred to as the 14th century, the Honzen-ryōri (I'll use just Hozen for short) is a style of meal designed to structure and organize the new warrior culture that arose in the period just before the Waring States. The meal would organize and "tame" the new samurai class of nobility, and into the Edo period this would become THE meal of the nobility. The traditional Honzen would begin with 3 rounds of drinks, and be followed with three round last of food with 7/5/3 courses going down. 

Looking at the typical portions and type of food for the Hozen also reflects aspects of the culture. Nothing on the trays were larger than what a pair of chopsticks could reasonably hold, the soup was mostly thin to allow ease of sipping and almost every dish had an illusion or imagery attached. Ingredients were vegetable, rice (a staple), noodles, fish/marine life and water fowel. Sauces were few and far between, and most food was eaten "fresh" in some form or fashion. 

Knowing this, what can I gleam from the culture based on the food? Their main source of protein being fish, we can see that the Japanese culture will focus heavily on water and will have many myths/cultural stigma involved in such. Fishermen will be well respected, and you can imagine that there is predominately fresh food served to everyone. With each bite of food no larger than what chopsticks can reasonably hold, eating to excess or with great gutso is not a thing easily done. The Japanese developed a cultural stigma with shoveling food, and the Hozen has strict rules on how much to eat of each course before you move onto the next. The lack of sauces imply that the culture honors purity, enjoying and relishing the pure taste of the dish instead of an altered flavor profile. This again is evidence in Japanese culture, an almost isolationism that promotes Japan over all. Fresh food being served regularly is a sign of this purity as well. The over use of illusion food, of artistic presentation being almost more important to amount/quality of the food highlights a culture striving for high arts and trying to separate itself from what it may feel are barbaric roots.

Studying the food nets the same result as studying the culture, a proud people who strove for ideological purity especially after decades of devastating war. A culture which clung to the ideals of its society, and while very expressive in the medium given is rather isolated from much influence at this time. This is a culture that honors art, and struggles to find its humanity admits the warrior struggles of the noble class. This is a people who want to be better, but on their own terms.

Next time, we will discuss more specifically what food will be served, some of its history in Japanese culture and tackling several Japanese food myths.

Why I fight

I am very excited, in just two short weeks I will be attending another Gulf Wars with friends and family. I will work hard, learn loads, good off and get some much needed stress release for the week. I am adding something new to the mix this year though, this is my first year as an authorized fighter.

When I first talked about doing combat in the SCA, it raised several eye brows with my friends. Many asked why, many were confused as they hadn't seen any kind of desire or heard me discuss it before. I even managed to surprise several of my SCA relationships the day I was authorized, the Queen Herself pointed out that she was surprised to see me out of the kitchens. Because of all that, I feel the need to blog about my choice and speak aloud my whys and how's.

Short answer:

Because I want to, and I will have fun doing it. Duh.

Oh, that's not a good post...I should probably fill in more of an explanation than that.

Long answer:

Sword fighting, combat and daring warrior antics have always been a part of my imagination and my dreams. Growing up I adored the Power Rangers because they had weapons and weapon combat felt cooler than later pistols. Jedi were awesome, they were just future Knights!my fantasy and play times I cloves saving princesses from dragons or saving the day by beating a generalnin one-on-one combat. These were fun fantasies of mine, but nothing I ever thought would be a reality.

As I grew up I discovered stage combat, first playing with it in stage shows and later moving onto performing at Ren Faires. This scratched the itch that I had felt since a boy, a fun outlet to live out my fantasies as a swashbuckler. In doing such activities I met some fantastic people and one person in particular introduced me to the SCA. At the time her selling point was "wanna swing a sword and hit people for real" and to a young twenty hear old guy that sounds kinda fracking awesome.

I primarily played rattan when I first joined that SCA, that was all I knew, and thought the combat was nice it was like eating a candy bar. Yes a candy bar tastes good, makes you feel full and happy for a short period of time, but it was just temporary. I didn't have an anchor into the group and that feeling along with other factors led me to leaving the SCA for a time.

Upon coming back with my friends combat was the farthest thing from my mind. Service and Art were what was pulling to me, and for a good while I could have cared less about combat within the SCA. Sure I enjoyed the tourneys with my friends and didn't mind supporting my fellows in ther fighting endeavors, but as far as participating went I could have cared less if I fought or not.

Then I went to Gulf Wars for the first time.

There's nothing I can really do to describe my experience with War. It changed me, all for the better, and left marks on me mentally and even spiritually that I'm still uncovering and learning of. One of those marks was rekindling that childhood dream of combat, to fight for glory and honor and to have a great fracking time. After that first war I began to plot out and plan how I would enter into the fighting field, what I would do and how far I would take it.

It took me a while to get everything together that I needed, job changes and life changes like getting married refocused a lot of my priorities, but I finally was as to join in combat. While I still enjoy rattan and can't deny the carnal pleasure of slamming a sword up against a mans helmet, I wanted to follow my dream. My dreams have never been about me fighting alone against the odds, I was always with my friends. My brothers in arms are an important part of this dream, and since my best friends all fight with rapier I had an easy choice to make.

There is always a lot of talk about The Dream when it comes to the SCA, and the importance of following your personal dream to its fruition. For me, this year at War will be a first big step to fulfilling a dream I've had since I was a child. I will take the field of battle and fight with honor to represent my Lady, my King, and my Country. I will finally be living out a fantasy I never thought to be a reality. I am so fracking excited I can barely contain myself. And though I will most likely die pretty regularly during each battle, I dare you to find someone out there on the field or at the whole of Gulf Wars who will be happier than me.

Personal Reflections after St. Val's

I find it humorous that sometimes working like a madman all weekend at an event can bring about a lot of personal revelations. I think it's the chance to see things through a new lens, to see reflections of behavior in others actions and to try something new. I'm gonna kinda bullet point some of my reflections here.

• Seeing such a performance during feast really has changed the entire scope of my TMT and 30th year feast plans. Madhavi showed me how to do entertainment right, it was all timed perfectly and everyone who participated did a damn fine job. I also love how she mixed up "low tables" and standard seating. It makes sense, giving certain guests the option for the authentic feasting experience while still providing wonderful table service for the guests, and I plan on mimicking it for 30th year. I will ask Tim to help me with the Iliad on Saturday night, and I will be splitting the hall to "period" seating and modern seating for 30th year.
• I really do adore Kristin and love hanging out with her. We get along really well, and she inspires me to be a better person for myself and for the SCA. I always learn something from her after every meeting, and she makes me think about things in ways few people can. We also both agree we shouldn't be left alone unsupervised for too long...
• I really do love all of my Baron and Baronesses. They inspire me and make me proud to be a member of both An Crosaire and Darkwater. Gavine shows me that there is a need for that personal time and personal work, even when public pressure is high. Illene shows me that there is always time for everyone, because even a small gesture can make someones day. Dulcia shows me that its best to publicly promote others verse ourselves, because that spreads the Dream with every viewer. Turold shows me that dignity, chivalry and grace at all times is vital. They inspire me and it makes me feel good inside to support them anyway I can.
• I got authorized! I was so happy to authorize, it was many kinds of awesome. It lets me do more with my friends, which is always good. It lets me fill a dream of mine as well, to fight at War. I have dreamed of going to Gulf Wars, fighting for Crown and Country, and fighting with honor of the field for my home and my lady. I cannot wait to live a dream of mine next month.
• I was really happy that I had the same White Scarf who denied my first authorization to approve me on my second attempt. It made me feel really good, really safe and that I had learned a lot to gain his approval to become an authorized fighter.
• I got a rose from Dulcia, for my actions in the tournament and (as she said) my bravery. Pretty sure that was one of the best moments of the event for me.

Gonna explore some of this more later, I just wanted to share some of my reflections on an amazing event. Thank you to all my friends and family whom I was able to share this weekend with, and I hope to see most of you at War!

Vivat!